Eye Hate U

Everyday during football season, we would have practice outisde. Going through drills an, working on plays and letting everybody know what to look for and how to respond to what we might be facing against that week's opponent. Then, we would go back inside the school, take off our pads, change back into our regular clothes, and the head to "film session". We were a Chicago Public School with a "limited budget", so most of these "film sessions were less movie watching and more hearing our coach's recorded tape message from him scouting the other team. All the while, diagraming what he saw on the chalkboard.

I told you we had a limited budget!!!

On most days while were in the process of transitioning from the field to the classroom, there would be a slight delay in getting everybody together at the classroom. Those who got there early or on time would wait in the hallway outside the classroom until the rest of the team, and coaches, showed up for the session. It would take 5, 10, maybe even 30 miutes to get everybody there, including the coaching staff. Needless to say, there would be a lull in the action. If you know teenagers, you know that our idle minds were the Devil's playground. And, man, our collective mindsets must have been a theme park to that devil.




This song had just dropped and was getting radio play something serious. IT WAS PRINCE!!! he had dropped the name and was already going by the symbol. So cats on the radio were calling him "The Artist..." and shit. My teenaged mind soaked it all up. I didn't really know about "Darling Nikki" or even "Adore". I knew about "Alphabet Street" and "When Doves Cry" so don't side eye me for too long. But this song right here?

BLEW MY MIND!!!

We had this one guy on our team that couldn't, really sing, but he liked to listen to music. His name was Jesse and he was our back-up quaterbackGuys like that have the tendency to hum a tune that they like in public. Not loudly, though, because they will be politely asked to be quiet due to lack of skill. Jesse, unlike myself, knew about some Prince. He and some of his family were serious fans. So when "Eye Hate U" came out, he was on it. One day while we were waiting for film session to start he mentioned the song and started speaking the trial part "Your honor....".

It got a good laugh out of the teammates that were there. He went on a few more times that day with that line. It was cool. But then it escalated once we got into the actual film sesion. We were reviewing film and one of the players had made a mistake on the field. Perhaps on coverage of a blocking assignment. The coach asked the player what was he thinking. he went on to ask the player to explain his poor decision.

There was silence.

The coach asked the player again. Why did he make that decision on that play.

Silence still.

The coach turned to him and looked at him.

"Your honor...."

The player was Jesse...

We all broke out laughing.

By this time, the coaches had heard about Jesse's impersonation and mimicry of the song. Even the head coach had to crack a smile. Jesse admitted his mistake and the film session continued on. Albeit at a much more relaxed pace.

Jesse, was a fool! This cat would act out "Weekend At Bernie's" where instead of Calypso, he would reanimate himself using some DJ Chip or Deeeon. He'd start laying on the floor in the hallway like he was a dead body. One of the other players would start doing a housebeat on the lockers or wall while somebody else would get the chant going(Always gotta have a chant like "Big Booty girls/They talk alot of shit..."). As the makeshift music started going, Jesse would move and become animated. All the while lifting his body off the ground to where he was standing up and juking to the beat.

It was simple and clownish, but it allowed for the team to pass time and relax in between field and film sessions during the week. So whenever I hear this song, I usually think of this event.


That, and one of my ex-girlfriends that went to Lindblom....