Drifting on a memory

Songs and my memory. I seem to always have a song for a specific memory so that whenever I hear that song I automatically think back to that particular memory. It’s not thoroughly consistent, but with most of the ladies in my life, however, I always have a song stuck in my head exclusively for them. The song for a particular girl is either background music that fit “just right” for the time I simultaneously heard it and saw her, or it is truly representative of their personalities.

The first time I recognized this was my freshman year of college. During my senior year of high school there was this girl that I had a crush on from another school. We were coworkers and in the working together she showed me a picture of her from a semi-formal ball. Now, with most black high schools the theme of said particular ball was imprinted onto the photos taken at that ball. The theme for hers, and that was on her picture with her date, was the opening line to The Isley Bros. “For The Love of You”. Now mind you, the themes were song titles that were popular. However, her school took it a step further and used the opening line and it worked!

Now, whenever I hear that song, and I do really like that song, I always think of her. It doesn’t matter that nothing ever happened and that I never had the chance to tell that I liked her. The thing is that whenever I hear that song I think of her! With this girl, it’s not an intense feeling or memory, just a curiosity of sorts brought back by the remembrance of her and that picture with the opening line to “For The Love of You” imprinted on it.

Then, there is “Love’s Holiday” by Earth, Wind, and Fire.

My first love and how I had that song playing when I tried to get her to know that I cared about her. I remember the night so vividly because I did a lot of driving in my Mom’s car, through the city and out to the suburbs of where she stayed and then back to the city. Notice, I didn’t say to my home! All the time that I was driving I was hinting that I wanted to hook up with her before she left for a six-week study abroad program in Tanzania.

Actually, this was a moment of urgency because during that summer up until that time, we were both working at the same place and would take lunches together. So I had the time, plenty of it, to tell her and give better hints. I was unwise and oh so DUMB! So I had decided that the night before she left would be the night to let her know. I tried with what was at the time, my best efforts. I didn’t have the gumption to just speak it and make moves. The best that I gave, in hindsight, was a good clue at the end of the night.

When she came back to the states and right before she headed off to school for the fall, she said that she realized that I had in fact liked her, but most importantly, she liked me too! In the end, it was the start of a monumental relationship for the next 2 years.

Still though, whenever I hear that song I still think of her. Ironically, whenever I hear Earth, Wind and Fire’s “After the Love is Gone” I remember when we broke up the first time!!!!

I'm focused man.......

Quit The Farm
Chillin until The Weekend of The 4th
Getting The Burg checked up
Registering for Summer Classes
Start date for The Motel is on the 10th

Should I be looking for some gunch?

Nah, I don't need the distractions......

You know me! I'm just a random ass dude!!!!

This whole facebook.com thing is fun. I get to check out people's profiles from schools I ain't even know existed and shit!!!! Best part is that I can leave messgaes and "poke" them as well. They were on to something with this when they created it.

The thing I like best is that i see some fly ass gurrls posting up these pics. It makes me feel good that there are some beautiful ass womenfolk in other parts of the country. Like, I would have never thought about going to Providence, RI to holla at some chicks.

But then again, why should I go that fucking far, when i can just go to The Chi....

The Great Ralph Wiley

Never heard of him? Google is a good ally for you right now! Use and report back!!!

Ralph Wiley was a sportswriter for Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com until, tragically last year when he died of a heart attack while watching the Pistons play the Lakers. The ironic thing about it was that he had just written a piece for ESPN.com about how he saw the Pistons beatig the Lake Show. Folks guess that such a bold statement caught even the author of it, off guard.

Ralph Wiley was a good writer point blank. He could write his ass off and he really did appeal to me because of it. When I read his works, I thought that I could hear his voice as much as I can hear an older male relative or elder talking to me. Very personable and direct, but not intnetionally, I don't think.

I first read his works in a book I borrowed from one of my best friends, henry. It was entitled "Why Black People Tend To Shout". Knowing Henry, it was easily cutrious to see why he had this book. Henry, like myself, is unapologetically Black. We know the difference between niggas and Black people, and African-Americans. But we also know that those three labels are interchangable and still don't speak to the diversity within our culture. So I snatched it from his little library and read it. It took me one night to finish it.

I didn't return it for a year though....

After that I was hooked. I read his follow up to that book. I tried to find his biography on Eric Davis. I was hella elated when he signed on to do pieces for ESPN. I was a fan. A faithful reader and supporter. He could do no wrong. And what I mean when I saw that is his opinion was always respected. He was consistent with his thoughts and was never ever contradictory. He shed light on issues that many people would have only stopped at the surface, just when they thought there was nothing else to it. His essays ranged from John Thompson at Georgetown to why C. Vivian Stringer should be the next coach of a men's basketball team to how and why Oakland's Tim Brown-Jerry Rice combo was so efficient and possibly lethal. His articulated thoughts were so refreshing to me and fermented alot of thoughts I had tried to come up with myself.

You know how you feel about a situation or particular thing, but you can't articulate it or conjure it up into words to tell somebody else in an eloquent manner? Ralph Wiley helped me to overcome that with his words.

Leaving The Farm

I've been working at the local Claims Center of State farm for the past month or so. All I really do is read books on various things regarding claims like cars and injuries. The shit is boring and redundant because I have already been through this with two other companies that I have interned for prior to landing at SF.

They hired about 70 people at the same time and we are all going through training at the same time. They keep us in two large training rooms with a computer for each of us. Reading these books and using these CD-Roms to get us to learn what it is we will be doing. Somehow, these mu'fuckas didn't read my resume and learn that I already know this shit! I fall asleep in there everyday. I sit next to a new-to-the-workforce house wife from the sticks who isn't very computer literate. She's always asking me questions about things I have told her how to handle before. If I was in a better mood or if she was a MILF, then it wouldn't be so bad.

Yesterday, I'm sitting at the desk and the Training Manager comes in to speak to me. She's a piece of work. tennessee bred, company woman of 25 years who really isn't the most knowledgeable insurance professional, but somehow knows how to handle people. She has a cubicle filled to the "t" with trinkets that one would get from Cracker Barrel. Its depressing and tacky to look at. But, anyways, she comes in and asks me if I would be able to relocate to another office within the company. She offers me Shreveport, LA and Baton Rouge, LA. I've been to Baton Rouge and loved it. Shreveport ain't too inteesting to me. So I told her that i would like BR. She says fine and then proceeds to tell me that around the end of August I'll be transferred to the Total Loss vehicle Claims unit there.

That'd be fine if i hadn't already registered for the 2nd Session of Summer school that starts July 5th.

I have figured that if I'm not going to be doing anything worthwhile like inspecting roofs or visiting Body Shops, I might as well earn some more credits towards my degree....

Letting folks go

letting folks go
Ever see "A Bronx Tale"?I remember the scene where C is telling Sonny about how he loaned this one guy $20 and the guy hasn't repaid him yet. Sonny comes with the best advice:Don't think of it as you losing $20. Rather that you paid the guy $20 to get out of your life!!!Sometimes its bad to know that people will leave you for free. Usually in the way that they just break from future contact with you without warning. You felt nothing was wrong and you were willing to put in the work necessary to sustain a friendship on your part.

But, sometimes you realize it and then there are those times that you don't. I sometimes find myself in this same situation and I ask myself what it is I did to make them leave. Then, after some thought, I think back to what Sonny said. You're a blessed son of a bitch to not have to pay anyting to get people who aren't worth ya time(actualized or not) out of your life!!!

Who's reading?

So, you must be bored or just hella nosey to come by my blog to read my thoughts. Be repared for some randumbness from me. I may from time to time be a bit incoherent, but I'm working on that now with soem therapy.