On: Nice guys finishing last......

I used to think that I was a nice guy. Honestly, I felt that it was my ticket into some good loving/relationship things. I was a Mam's Boy(In denial), raised in the church, never really cussed(not cursed!), and so forth. I knew how to massage body parts and listen to a person. My Momma raised me well.

But then I went to college......

The chicks that I wanted. That I listened to lament on and on about the defects of men, led me to believe that if EYE managed to not fuck up and do what it is they asked, I'd get in. WRONG!!!(c) Charlie Murphy. That shit was for the birds. For a while, I was lamenting about nice gys finishig last and blah blah blah.... but fuck the bullshit! If you are wondering where it is that you stand in a gurrl's eye, just pull ya dick out(re:show ya ass) in front of her. Let her know that you're man wuith sexual needs. Go biblical if you have to and say "Man cannot live on bread and water alone..." or quote St. Luther Vandross "I'm not meant to live alone". Start there and move forward depending on the reaction from her.

If she ain't feeling you, put ya dick back in ya pants, walk over to the next dorm room of a cutie that you know.

On the reals, to make a long rant longer, I confided in some older heads and it became known that you do not do that shit with a women unless she's trying to be with YOU. If she ain't seen the light that you are/that is EWE then you should change the subject of the conversation post haste. Let that banter go through one ear and out the other. Start guessing her bra size. Do whatever it is you can do, without listening to her ramble on and on. If she wants you, she wants you. No if and or but. She will gladly give you The Butt if she wants to.

As far as the whole nice guiys finishing last movement, here is a very good thought:

Ok, now as a general rule I don't carry water for the 'nice guys finish last' movement because its as hugely flawed as the 'all men are dogs' movement.

So, what's wrong with it? In my opinion, the absolute lack of personal responsibility involved in just blaming women. Here's the thing. If you are a guy who has been failing in love and is constantly complaining about your inability to meet women because of your 'niceness' here are a few questions.

What makes you 'nice'? Is it just that you are to passive to state a contrary opinion around a woman you like? Or that you are too scared to be upfront about whether or not you are attracted to her?

Is there any way it could possibly be you that's the problem? I'm just saying, if you look like you could be cast as The Blob in the next x-men movie and haven't taken a bath since Clinton was president maybe your 'niceness' isn't the issue.

Also, if you are walking up to women fully expecting to get shot down to the degree that it shows up in your face and body language don't be surprised when it happens. Insecurity is never cute, especially if you're the man. You might want to look into building up your confidence first. Hell, mine fails me on occasion, I just don't blame that on the women.

The second part of this issue is what women you are looking at. If you are constantly hanging around the same crowd and not getting any play you might want to consider the possibility that you should try somwhere else. If you are getting play and its always fucked up, you might want to look somewhere else. Instead of going after the cheerleaders you might want to consider the cute girl in glasses who sits across from you in lab etc. Different women like different things. Not all of them are going to 'get' you. Hell, maybe even the majority won't. But if people who like scatagories are able to find partners, chances are you'll do okay if you keep looking instead of assuming that they can't possibly exist.


Sidenote 1:
Now does this mean I don't believe that there are a large number of women whose dating preferences skew towards men they can 'fix' or 'help discover their softer sides' etc..

Nope, I'd bet money that I'm right about that phenomenon. I just choose to not involve myself with those women because they aren't looking for me anyway


Sidenote 2:
To all the 'I can't find a good man', 'men like drama', 'they all cheat' etc... women. You might want to glance through those questions too. Lord knows some of you need it

Thinking about death

How do I (you) wanna go out? I have thought about this recently, especially now that I have turned 26 years old. And I remember hearing some Richard Pryor album not too long ago. This nigga said "I wanna die in some pussy".....

Funny shit!!!!

Saint Richard Pyror of Peoria said that. St. Augustine before he became a monk couldn't even fathom that quote!!!!

But yeah, I gave some thought to this and well...

There isn't a single person I like that I want to fuck over like that, and, there isn't a single person that I dislike that I want to give the satisfaction of believing that there slime.slit is that powerful.

If anything, I'll get shot....

Weekends in The Fall Season

I'm really missing out on my football games now. I work Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays. 2-10 pm and I miss ALL football games. Shit is not acceptable!!!! I realized this just this past weekend where I missed Iowa State upset Iowa and oipening sunday of the NFL(bears still lost, but still!). To top it all off, i just got this new drinking game for ESPN Sunday Night NFL:

Here's how to play:

• Set yourself up with a minimum of six beers for the three-hour game. If the Ravens are playing (and they are just about every other week), grab eight.
• Take the assigned number of swigs — about the equivalent of one ounce, or 12 swigs per bottle/can. Do NOT drink when Paul Maguire is speaking. You might spit it up.
• If any of the "chug" criteria is met, you must finish your beer, even if you have to take a leak really badly.



DRINK WHEN MIKE PATRICK...

1 - Raves over the offensive line on a three-yard run
1 - Says a player is one of the best in the NFL when you can name 10 others at his position who are better
1 - Says the home crowd is making it too loud to hear, even though your neighbors can hear him through your TV
1 - Says "What a day in the NFL!"
1 - Says "Are you kidding me?!"
1 - Describes a play as "unbelievable," "amazing" or "incredible." Important: the play itself does not have to be remotely unbelievable, amazing or incredible
1 - Refers to a player as "one of the all-time greats"
1 - Calls a player one of the most underrated in the league
2 - Makes you lower the volume
2 - Says "Let's go down to Suzy Kolber. Suzy."
Chug - Says "Let's go down on Suzy Kolber. Suzy."
Chug - Breaks your ear drum



DRINK WHEN PAUL MAGUIRE...

1 - Prefaces any analysis with "I'm a tell ya what."
1 - Says "I'm gonna tell ya something" right before actually telling you something
1 - Says the word "watch" more than twice on any instant replay, as if you were doing anything but watching
1 - Says something you didn't already know
1 - Admits to being scared of Ray Lewis
1 - Says he talked to a player/coach earlier in the week
2 - Calls Theismann "Joseph"
Chug - Calls Theismann "an idiot"



DRINK WHEN JOE THEISMANN...

1 - Utters the phrase "like a Bill Parcells."
1 - Mentions his own playing career
1 - Points out a flaw in a quarterback's mechanics, whether or not the replay backs it up
1 - Says "What impresses me most about..."
1 - Mentions Notre Dame in any capacity
1 - Says he talked to a player/coach earlier in the week
1 - Says "If I'm the ..."
2 - Offers a team advice "if they wanna win this game," as if they're on the fence about whether or not they want to win
2 - Refers to his punting career (one punt for one yard in 1985)
2 - Predicts a penalty that goes the other way
Chug - Refers, again, to any historical genius as "Norman Einstein."



DRINK WHEN...

1 - Ray Lewis is mic'ed up
1 - Ray Lewis is mentioned when the Ravens aren't playing
1 - A special-teams coach is said to have done "a great job"
1 – Patriots mentioned as a “dynasty” (2 if they aren’t playing)
1 – An offense is referred to as “High Flying”
2 - One of the three announcers accuses another of avoiding dinner checks
Chug - A drunken Hall of Fame quarterback hits on a marginally attractive sideline reporter
Chug - The Ravens are playing and anyone but Ray Lewis is mic'ed up
Chug - Any of the SFL crew mentions Ray Lewis' criminal record

Hidden meanings in songs

Getting older has its benefits. Like listening to a song that you knew the words verbatim while growing up. And then, while hearing the same song again you ca actually comprehend some of the words. The look of realization on one's face is a litle life tresaure for me!

Example #1
"In a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear" - Digital Underground "The Humpty Dance"
= Like a 10 year knew what a "69" was back in 1990!!!! I'm glad I found out by my 1st year of college...

Example #2
"More Bounce To The Ounce" - Zapp featuring Roger Troutman
= The whole song. And I must concure that once I realized that they were talking about a woman's body on the dancefloor, I wholeheartedly concurred!

I realize that back with my parents' generation, inuendo was really inuendo. But, once you experienced some things, you could know 'inuendo' very fluently. Kind of like knowing what "they're upstairs moving furniture" means. Hearing these songs, and having experienced a few things, knowing these hidden meanings just makes me feel like I accomplished something.

I've grown up a bit.

Beat The Pussy Up-The Manifesto

Sometimes you just have to forget about her and her feelings. You ain't know? Its a woman's perogative to change her mind(i.e. feelings)!!!!

Best advice my Pops ever gave me. Too bad it was 5 years too late....

Unless you're really, really trying to build with her and lock her up as yours, you don't need to worry about whether or not SHE cums. Not until after she's hooked on you. We in college. That romance shit is not really needed for the rampant one night stands that are going around. If you are worrying about some chicks feelings after you met her at The American Legion party, then you are setting ya self up for failure.

If you want the CHANCE to build w/ her, that first time you hit it
BEAT THE PUSSY UP!!!!!

F'rill!!!!!!!!

Demolish it!!!!

Try to poke holes in her back. Flip her ass around, dont ask for anything, put her in the position you want her in. Pull her hair. But don't snatch the weave! Grab her throat! If you've got to kiss her...kiss her neck. Kiss her freckles like the song said and you're lucky that she has em!!! Don't sit around and play with the cooch. On some "youre so pretty...May I kiss you? May I lick your snatch? May I twiddle your clitoris w/ my fingers? May I gnaw on your nipples?" type shit.

NO FELLAS!

NO!!!

Take aggression out on it and let her know...this is what you'll get fucking w/ me on a regular basis. All that other sentimental shit comes out when you want more.

SHE'LL BE BACK
SHE'LL TELL ALL HER GIRLS
THEY WILL WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME PUSSY.

But if you want to build with her, and subsequently become a "Man", you know to turn that shit down. Besides, if you watch "Girlfriends" you'll know how some of these women roll with backstabbers and loose morals running rampant in each clique.

Am I stuttering?

*sigh*

You've got to approach the whole act like you know what YOU/YOU/YOU want! Thass 3 times for mind/body/soul, because all three gotta be in agreement that its better if you worry about ya self right then. Either that or one side is just locking the other 2 out of the room.

Kinda like ya roommate does you when he's "moving furniture"...