Life Isn't Fair At All!

One of my softball teammates working his side gig....

How many of us have them?

The best compliments that I ever got was from one of my best friends. He said that my "friend maintenance" was top-notch and that it made him optimistic that he would be able to maintain the friendships from earlier in his life just like his own father had been able to do with his college buddies.




Inside it took me back a bit. I was shocked! I really didn't know HOW to respond to such a statement. It was a private confesion of sorts and by me having just started the transitioning into adulthood, this was my first exposure to mature matterss. But a response was in order, and in my own characteristic fashion, I acknowledged his perspective and returned the feeling, in kind, that I appreciated his friendship just the same.

There are older folks out there who say that one should allow friendships to fall by the wayside. However, I'm not an advocate of such beliefs. Like all things in love, if the feeling is not reciprocated(or even the work needed to maintain the friendship is not reciprocated) then by all means, let the arrangement falter. However, if there is a concentrated effort by both parties(or all involved) then I feel that friendships should last all throughout life. No matter the distance or experiences one party goes through while the others involved may go through different experiences. I believe that if we can share those moments and accept them for what they are, then a friendship is needed. Those private moments or those shared, private moments where we can let our guard down and expose ourselves to those who care.

Besides, it is in those moments when Life happens, those times that make us reach out(sometimes blindly) for help from a caring soul. And its those folks that we call FRIEND that reach back to help us out!

Jerome Benton

Its good that we have a friend like Jerome Benton in our circle of friends.


All praises and honors go to the nigga Jerome Benton.

He is also in the parthenon of do-dirt niggas worldwide!!!

You never know when you'll need that homeboy(girl) to do some dirt for you on an everyday basis. Like, handling an unruly person on the street. Or helping you handle some business matters like running a club that has an amatuer night. Rarely are they skilled to also help you impress some creole woman that is pawning her family jewelry to support her lackluster music career. However, they're more than a manservant/hired help like Rochester though. They might put you in place, but they will never bitch and moan about their salary because, well, they ain't getting paid in the 1st place.

They will however point out to you that the rewards for their wingman assignment needs to be renegotiated if the brevity of the female friend's unnattractiveness warrants so!

Tangled Webs

A few years back, I'm chatting it up with my guy about random things. We tend to do this because we have the same birthday. Its always very random and brilliantly ignorant, if you can imagine. We talk about women that we know and the thing rumor mill going on about them. One name came up and after some discussion, my friend started talking about one of her homegirls.



Come to find out, his older brother had"an arrangement" with said homegirl. Ok, nothing scandalous. But then he shows me the picture that his brother had sent to him of the homegirl butt-ball nekkid. After seeing her in tight fitting clothing and chilling in her dorm room, it was good to know that my imagination was not far off at all.

Two years pass and said homegirl graduates, moves back home, keeps messing with my guy's brother, and then becomes engaged to a different man.


Follow?
Yeah, so although Facebook cannot be used as a primary source, it does keep you abreast on the life happenings of other folks. At the very minimum, I could tell that she was in a very serious relationship with the random guy that is not related to my friend.

Some time later, I finally meet my guy's older brother. Same dude that was messing with the homegirl. The same homegirl that is supposedly engaged to another guy. I ask him flat out if he knew her or who she was. He did not deny knowing her. I press further and he admits to having "an arrangement" with her. He goes even further to show me a couple more pictures of her that one day will find themselves on the HomegrownFreaks.com website when I log on.

No, I did not ask him to send those to me....
(I should have though!)

Now, the good news of this story is that I had a job interview out of town last week. Where I went, I was able to link up with my guy and another one of our friends. Time was at a premium, so we went to a local burger joint to eat and talk shit before I had to hit the road back home. As we were finishing up our meal, our mutual friend ran into an old friend that he knew from his days in high school.

It was a quick exchange since the other guy was just passing by and headed to more pressing matters, I'm sure. As soon as the guy was out of earshot, we ask out friend who that was. Our friend goes on to tell us where dude went to college and that he had just got married. Our friend went on about how cool the dude was and how they both are members of a community/social board that had just finished a major event for them. Our friend was about to switch subjects when he remembered that the bride of his cohort had also went to our school.

Due to the string of weddings that have been occuring since 2008, I really didn't think too much of it or press the matter of the bride's identity any further. But my guy did.....

The bride was she of the "arrangement" with his older brother and the infamous pictures.

Twas a good thing we had already paid our tab and left promptly just in case dude had came back within earshot!

Forehead and Booty

This man right here has provided me with some of the best insights during young adulthood.


We met during freshmen orientation in college and have been tight ever since. He's a funny cat.

One day, we were chilling at the spot just shooting the breeze with some other friends of ours. Not too far away, there stayed some chicks that I knew. I was cool with them, but my friend didn't really know them personally. One of the neighbors saw the group of us outside talking and decided to come over. My friend was introduced to her and a short conversation ensued. After a few minutes, the neighbor went on her way, and we resumed our previously schedule chitt-chat.

Did I mention that the entire time that the neighbor was talking with us, that she was talking to us about herself about some bullshit?

The woman was pretty self-absorbed. She had the ability to make any conversation about her. Actually, she wouldn't converse with anyone unless she was able to insert *her* into the topic. All this to say, her only redeeming qualities were her physical attributes. She had a messed up smile and 5-head. Her smile looked so insincere and forced like a sales associate from Zayre or Goldblatt's in Lake Meadows. The one thing that she did have going for her was her nice round butt. It wasn't really big. It was nicely shaped, she had some child-bearing hips, and some solid thighs.*

Yeah, that's her style....
And my friend picked up on it during that very short conversation. He picked it up so well, that not a minute after she was out of earshot, he said the following that shall remain in the "Quotables Hall of Fame"


"She should be called 'Forehead and booty'!!!! Because all she's good for is head...AND ASS!"

Once he said this, we all laughed hysterically....BECAUSE WE FELT THAT IT WAS TRUE!!!!

In hindsight, she only looked good due to lack of competition at the time. The situation in college was at a low point when it came to fine women at MU. The top prospects and blue bloods had graduated and the same calibre were not enrolling like they used to. It was like Boise State playing in the Patriot League. I feel that she was destined to become the trophy wife for a washed up 5th round NBA draft pick who spent 3 seasons riding the pine in the Czech Republic or the cast memeber that gets kicked off after the first season of the next "Real Housewives of..." show on Bravo.

Anyways, since then, I've found myself quoting my friend whenever I come across a (somewhat) attractive woman that fails to provide anything redeemable other than her looks. I could care less if she knows that is how she's getting by in life or not. It is quite hilarious when they know that they aren't the sharpest tool in the box, but yet try to overcompensate this by "learning something"...I say this because it's the next step before patting them on their head like a toddler, telling them "Nice try, kiddo!".

*Ask an "Ass Man" to describe random nice looking butts, and you will get a desfription like this

Doing-Dirt

All praises to Raymond "Mouse" Alexander....



Ever since I saw the movie adaptation to "Devil In a Blue Dress", there has been an icon in my heart for this chracter from Walter Mosely's Easy Rawlins series. Especially after how he was expertly portrayed by Don Cheadle in the movie. Seeing the movie recently also got me thinking about the people that I consider to be a friend.

An oldhead once said "Its good to use people, but its not good to misuse them!". Not everybody in ya life should be "full-service" in order for you to fulfill your needs. Nobody is going to be that "all-in-one", that everything, for you. "To err is to be human..." and with that in mind, one would have to reasonably expect that our friends are going to have their faults and make mistakes. All things being equal, we are all equally fucked-up in one way or another. So on top of that, our friends probably accept our shortcomings and well.

As a friend, you don't hold it against them. You accept it! Ideally it is a part of what makes them who they are and it helps make the friendship stronger if the parties involved compliment the other by strengthening these character traits.

The main point however is that we all have those friends and individuals that we can rely on for special needs that we may or may not be able to compensate for. For when a specific problem arises, one may have to dig into the reserves and utilize our resources to handle that particular instance by reaching out to that one individual. You're not going to use the same knife to cut ya steak, tighten up a loose bolt or bring it to a gunfight....

Such a move is usually announced as "I got people that know how to handle that!"

One of these people is "The Do-Dirt Nigga" who, as the title insinuates, has some dirt on their hands. If they have done enough, the mention of their name instantly conjures up shady business. That, or a quick tale or two that highlights what may soon be coming this way: TROUBLE! No good will come from involving them. Things involving them have been achieved through nefarious means or insult and injury. Its not that they are inherently evil, its just that without good, moral people in their world, they would have been caught along time ago.

Such was the case with Mouse. He was mean but charming. He knew how to handle a gun and did not take any prisoners. When Easy finally realized what he was up against in the movie, he knew who to call and how to manage things once Mouse arrived. Although Easy didn't keep Mouse around for the whole thing, Easy was able to get things done and out of the way due to having Mouse with him. This is how we manage our relationships with such friends. You don't swear allegiance but have an understanding as to the roles being played. Its not unconditional. There are conditions and stipulations to the relationships. As long as both parties stick to their side of the bargain, there may be more instances where this person will be reached out to.

For the homie, Mike B.....