Staying Committed

Remedial shit that I've come to believe in Part 1

Example #1
Staying committed to one's goals is hallmark of adulthood.

I wanna stop working out! I really do. But I need to lose the fat. I would like to get down to 185 by the end of the calendar year. That is my goal. The 2ndary goal is 200. All thes come on the heels of my Fiscal New Year's Resolution. You know how people do the whole NYE reolsution things. Well I decided to do mine when businesses and corporations start their new year, July 1st.

Well it was aactually July 5th. I had to gorge myself at The Taste of Chicago/4th of July Weekend celebrations. You just can't go cold turkey with such culinary delectibles about to spring forth...Hell Fuckin Naw!!!!!

So I've been on it for 2 weeks now. I just finished my first full 5 days of weight lifting and cardio exercises. I do 5 days of Cardio exercises and 3 days of weights. Each day I do 20 minutes of Cardio. Shit gets tiring, man! I get out of bed and start my day off doing other things and subliminally trying to get my mind to conveniently find an excuse NOT to go to the gym. It never works because the righteous side of my brain always tells me to leave my locker lock on the ashtray to my car.

But Im starting to see results. My jawline is starting to come back!!!! I haven't seen that since 1998! I have the picture to prove it!!!!

In the larger sense, such action help me to become more accountable for my successes and failures. Failures aren't hard to cope with for me. its the successes that I have problems with. I can't handle them the proper way that is most optimum for continues success. instead I play reserved like as if such a thing is no big deal. I may even defer the credit to somebody else. At times one who didn't even do shit!!!
The opposite happens with failure. I have no qualms being the fall guy or taking responisbility for the unmet results of a situation or program.

I can easily take not finishing a project but I have in the recent years never comleted one. i can't stay doing that!!! What the fuck do I look like? At least that is what my conscience thinks. I know I should be doing better than *this*. People know that I am capable of doing better. now it is just a matter of me showing people that I can do better.