We have in the past, have always been able to rise to the occassion presented to us by the circumstances. Whether those occassions were positive or negative, and sometimes they were out to destroy us. We look at this moment in powerless times. On the international scene and here at home. We don't know exactly what the next step civilization itself is going to take. But what we do know is that it will take that next step. And on the basis of what we have done in the past, and the basis of how we do it, I'm calling on my own people to reach back and to part one more time. To come out with that mojo, and that Brer Rabbit, and the magic...
What we need now is a new way to be "Black". A new way to apply all that we have learned from the past. And right now, there is a lot of spinning around and bunping into each other. Its night and we don't see very clearly. And alot of things are happening with which we don't thoroughly understand. But as time goes by, we will pick up the beat. We will catch the keynote. Then, we will put our own instruments to our lips and add to the symphony. And I'm sure that our addition will change the whole thing for the better.
I can't wait to be as black in the 21st Century as I was in the 20th!!!
-Ossie Davis(1917-2005)
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Interests
Ever notice that when you ask a chick what her hobbies are, its either shopping or talking on the phone? And to a lesser extent something to do with decorating.
What the hell happened to them chicks that played sports in high school? that still do in college and in recreation leagues? Are they ashamed about that? They don't need to be!!! Shit. Honestly, they really aren't seperating themselves from the pack by copying and pasting the same lukewarm responses to questions of inquiry. Have they not noticed the dramatic spike in attention a chick gets when she (Honestly) says something about herself that is NOT regular?
What the hell happened to them chicks that played sports in high school? that still do in college and in recreation leagues? Are they ashamed about that? They don't need to be!!! Shit. Honestly, they really aren't seperating themselves from the pack by copying and pasting the same lukewarm responses to questions of inquiry. Have they not noticed the dramatic spike in attention a chick gets when she (Honestly) says something about herself that is NOT regular?
Friday, November 25, 2005
Honestly....
When somebody says to you that they just want to be friends, they really mean "Rather than have sex with you, I would prefer to lose you as a friend."....
Its cold logic and as a guy it appeals to me very greatly. So much so that from now on when I feel compelled to resolve my stature with a woman I am going to say:
"You haven't done anything remotely close to what the people I already have as friends do. Besides, I have enough friends as is. So instead of losing you as a friend, I'd prefer to just have sex." which just cuts to the chase. I don't feel the need to compound it with bullshit glamour, glitz and other cosmetic aesthetics. Nah. Just cut to the chase. I'll save the feeling and emotion in my voice reflexions for family and actual friends. Not some sorority girl still on high from gaining her letters last month.
As for the pending response from said woman, I don't care. My man Pos from De La Soul said it best: "Take offense? Fuck it! It gotta be that way!"
Its cold logic and as a guy it appeals to me very greatly. So much so that from now on when I feel compelled to resolve my stature with a woman I am going to say:
"You haven't done anything remotely close to what the people I already have as friends do. Besides, I have enough friends as is. So instead of losing you as a friend, I'd prefer to just have sex." which just cuts to the chase. I don't feel the need to compound it with bullshit glamour, glitz and other cosmetic aesthetics. Nah. Just cut to the chase. I'll save the feeling and emotion in my voice reflexions for family and actual friends. Not some sorority girl still on high from gaining her letters last month.
As for the pending response from said woman, I don't care. My man Pos from De La Soul said it best: "Take offense? Fuck it! It gotta be that way!"
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Put it in my mouth....
So last weekend I was at The University of Kentucky for a conference with some folks from school. It was a good break from all the things going on in Columbia. A vacation of sorts, to sort shit out while not being in the thick of things. Need less to say, it was better than what I had anticipated. The workshops were good. I talked to some folks from other schools about ours/theirs situations. Politickin and networking with my peoples from across the land.
But as such, what good is a conference with out some kind of activity to relax everybody? The two nights of the conference, the organizers sponsored a party and an Open Mic set. The party was Friday night and was held at the student union on campus. It was horrible. In the sense that not too many people were in a party frame of mind. That is a recurring theme, and it was very prevalent there in Kentucky. The most hyped people just so happened to be from Indiana State's Gospel Choir. Strange, right? But hey! They were enjoying themselves and I had some fun watching them do it.
But as I was watching "The Choir" kick it at the party (and also getting folks in the mood as well), the DJ puts on a record from the mid 1990s.
Now you can lick it, you can sip it, you can taste it
I'm talkin every drip-drop, don't you waste it
Baby, slurp it up, it's enough to fill your cup
It's finger lickin good, and I'm wishin that you would
Go down kinda slow or even fast
I'm always sprung once I feel your tongue in the crack of my ass...
If you couldn't guess by the lyrics, that is Akinyele's "Put It In Ya Mouth". The best song ever made about the joys of oral sex. Giving and receiving from both genders. Cats spout that its vulgar, and I can agree, but its also a vulgar topic that nonetheless shows both points of view very liberally. If not all out raunchy. I love that song and have no complaints. If you know me, you wouldn't be surprised by this...
What I was, however, upon hearing the DJ play this song, was depressed when the dancefloor started to clear. I had to come to my senses in that I tend to think kinda lewdly. That others wouldn't be so accepting of hearing such "vulgar" being espewed at a party where folks are trying to avoid being the next subject of Chappelle's "Great Moments In Hook-Up History". I have seen people change their opnions when those who they try to gain acceptance from(and their opinions) disfavor a particular view that they might already hold deep down but don't want to be judged solely on such an opnion. That is very childish on both parts.
I try not to judge people and at times it may seem that I am. But I try to make it distinctly clear that I'm only trying to gain one's perspective that might be different than my own, but may still be a very valid and solid position. I see it as an alternative that in case of emergency or some other inconvenience, might be beneficial to have. Educational purposes you could say...So when I do find myself debating with somebody I can easily play the devil's advocate and try to test their beliefs, just for fun(I know....)!
It was interesting to see tha dancefloor clear. I laughed and asked myself questions on what I just saw(Is anybody fucking? Who goes downtown to eat out? Have the deals been closed this quickly?) as I headed back to the hotel. It was interesting to me...
But as such, what good is a conference with out some kind of activity to relax everybody? The two nights of the conference, the organizers sponsored a party and an Open Mic set. The party was Friday night and was held at the student union on campus. It was horrible. In the sense that not too many people were in a party frame of mind. That is a recurring theme, and it was very prevalent there in Kentucky. The most hyped people just so happened to be from Indiana State's Gospel Choir. Strange, right? But hey! They were enjoying themselves and I had some fun watching them do it.
But as I was watching "The Choir" kick it at the party (and also getting folks in the mood as well), the DJ puts on a record from the mid 1990s.
Now you can lick it, you can sip it, you can taste it
I'm talkin every drip-drop, don't you waste it
Baby, slurp it up, it's enough to fill your cup
It's finger lickin good, and I'm wishin that you would
Go down kinda slow or even fast
I'm always sprung once I feel your tongue in the crack of my ass...
If you couldn't guess by the lyrics, that is Akinyele's "Put It In Ya Mouth". The best song ever made about the joys of oral sex. Giving and receiving from both genders. Cats spout that its vulgar, and I can agree, but its also a vulgar topic that nonetheless shows both points of view very liberally. If not all out raunchy. I love that song and have no complaints. If you know me, you wouldn't be surprised by this...
What I was, however, upon hearing the DJ play this song, was depressed when the dancefloor started to clear. I had to come to my senses in that I tend to think kinda lewdly. That others wouldn't be so accepting of hearing such "vulgar" being espewed at a party where folks are trying to avoid being the next subject of Chappelle's "Great Moments In Hook-Up History". I have seen people change their opnions when those who they try to gain acceptance from(and their opinions) disfavor a particular view that they might already hold deep down but don't want to be judged solely on such an opnion. That is very childish on both parts.
I try not to judge people and at times it may seem that I am. But I try to make it distinctly clear that I'm only trying to gain one's perspective that might be different than my own, but may still be a very valid and solid position. I see it as an alternative that in case of emergency or some other inconvenience, might be beneficial to have. Educational purposes you could say...So when I do find myself debating with somebody I can easily play the devil's advocate and try to test their beliefs, just for fun(I know....)!
It was interesting to see tha dancefloor clear. I laughed and asked myself questions on what I just saw(Is anybody fucking? Who goes downtown to eat out? Have the deals been closed this quickly?) as I headed back to the hotel. It was interesting to me...
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Shit happens......
I had the worst week ever last week!
All kinds of shit hit the fan(Dog, Human, Whale, etc.) and I barely made it out with my sanity intact. Fortunately, the reason why I did make it out was because of my friends, and those positive individuals that I encounter, being around me. And as luck would have it, one of my best friends was already on his way down(for something else) when things got hectic. Great timing indeed. My firends are those people who allow me to step back from situations and see the bigger picture. This happens when they offer their observations and criticisms on the situation from their perspectives.
We all don't always agree on the same things. Nor do we all participate in the same things regularly. However we all know adversity and struggle in various forms and incarnations. So when one of us is down on our luck, we can all group together and see that person through the quagmire that is life. Not necessarily carrying and ferrying each other, but offering hope and sage advice. Even a hand or three in case the odds dictate so. And for that, is why I am always grerqatful for my peoples!
All kinds of shit hit the fan(Dog, Human, Whale, etc.) and I barely made it out with my sanity intact. Fortunately, the reason why I did make it out was because of my friends, and those positive individuals that I encounter, being around me. And as luck would have it, one of my best friends was already on his way down(for something else) when things got hectic. Great timing indeed. My firends are those people who allow me to step back from situations and see the bigger picture. This happens when they offer their observations and criticisms on the situation from their perspectives.
We all don't always agree on the same things. Nor do we all participate in the same things regularly. However we all know adversity and struggle in various forms and incarnations. So when one of us is down on our luck, we can all group together and see that person through the quagmire that is life. Not necessarily carrying and ferrying each other, but offering hope and sage advice. Even a hand or three in case the odds dictate so. And for that, is why I am always grerqatful for my peoples!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
In memory of Mrs. Rosa Parks
“I am leaving this legacy to all of you ... to bring peace, justice, equality, love and a fulfillment of what our lives should be. Without vision, the people will perish, and without courage and inspiration, dreams will die — the dream of freedom and peace.”
-Rosa Parks
So said Mrs. Rosa parks some time ago. As we get older, as some of us have already felt, we are beginning to question the younger ones in regards to their aspirations and what inspires them. How is that after all that has been done and achieved can such progressive actions(regardless of whether said judges of inspiration are qualified to do so) bring about so different results? Have we lost the ability to dream and to inspire? Or is it that what we are dreaming about not what was intended. As if to say, they are glad that we do dream, but does it have to be about champaigne bottles and material goods?
Personally, I feel that we are dreamers who dream a myriad of visions. That being the African-Americans that we are, that we are indeed NOT monolithic in vision nor lifestyle, our dreams vary from one person to the next. Sometimes the changes can be a s profound as the dream itself. But the changes can also be a miniscule as say the persons in the dream. "Just place my face over his"(c) S. Carter
Still, I feel that those who follow their dreams and get recognized and congratulated by the larger groups for making their dreams come true coming out from the Black community are somehow the ones who are just doing what Mr. carter said. In that those who are dreaming and being awarded accolades, are only dreaming similar dreams in regards to their peers. That those who we say are living their dreams are all dreaming the same thing. In the larger sense they are being recognized and those who dream otherwise are not being recognized as prominent by the masses.
One has to seriously ask about those who dream different dreams, what comes of them. As Hansberry asked, does it shrivel up like a raisin in the sun? If not recognized and encouraged to fight and to subsequently live that dream, than the answer is indeed yes. Although strides have been made to secure the pursuit of happiness and to live out our lives the way they SHOULD be, there is still an outside force present that is dictating to US how we should live them! We cannot depend on those who may say that they have our interests in their hearts or on their minds to help us solely in pursuing our dreams. Our visions. No, that is too one sided and not very grounded. That will only lead to more despair than fulfillment. More tribulations than triumph. More apathy than inspiration. What we must do is harvest those dreams ourselves by our own hands. With the help of those who SAY that they share our interests.
Because if they truly do have OUR interests, than they should not have a problem in US dictating what we want from our dreams to become reality.
R.I.P.
-Rosa Parks
So said Mrs. Rosa parks some time ago. As we get older, as some of us have already felt, we are beginning to question the younger ones in regards to their aspirations and what inspires them. How is that after all that has been done and achieved can such progressive actions(regardless of whether said judges of inspiration are qualified to do so) bring about so different results? Have we lost the ability to dream and to inspire? Or is it that what we are dreaming about not what was intended. As if to say, they are glad that we do dream, but does it have to be about champaigne bottles and material goods?
Personally, I feel that we are dreamers who dream a myriad of visions. That being the African-Americans that we are, that we are indeed NOT monolithic in vision nor lifestyle, our dreams vary from one person to the next. Sometimes the changes can be a s profound as the dream itself. But the changes can also be a miniscule as say the persons in the dream. "Just place my face over his"(c) S. Carter
Still, I feel that those who follow their dreams and get recognized and congratulated by the larger groups for making their dreams come true coming out from the Black community are somehow the ones who are just doing what Mr. carter said. In that those who are dreaming and being awarded accolades, are only dreaming similar dreams in regards to their peers. That those who we say are living their dreams are all dreaming the same thing. In the larger sense they are being recognized and those who dream otherwise are not being recognized as prominent by the masses.
One has to seriously ask about those who dream different dreams, what comes of them. As Hansberry asked, does it shrivel up like a raisin in the sun? If not recognized and encouraged to fight and to subsequently live that dream, than the answer is indeed yes. Although strides have been made to secure the pursuit of happiness and to live out our lives the way they SHOULD be, there is still an outside force present that is dictating to US how we should live them! We cannot depend on those who may say that they have our interests in their hearts or on their minds to help us solely in pursuing our dreams. Our visions. No, that is too one sided and not very grounded. That will only lead to more despair than fulfillment. More tribulations than triumph. More apathy than inspiration. What we must do is harvest those dreams ourselves by our own hands. With the help of those who SAY that they share our interests.
Because if they truly do have OUR interests, than they should not have a problem in US dictating what we want from our dreams to become reality.
R.I.P.
Eddie and Walt were onto something
"Aw, we`ve been around
And I've had a lot of loves
And I know you had a lot of loves, too
But I ain`t never had nobody
that do the things you do"
-"Forever Mine" by The O'Jays
Why is it a problem for some folks to believe and accept that by the time that you reach a certain age, that sexually, you are NOT going to be their "first"? Even after 25 years of age, I find it hard to believe that somebody would have had less than 10 partners. If I hear that come out of a chick's mouth, I'm quickly asking for some salt.
The world would be a better place if we changed our views on prior sexual relationships and accepted people for the fallable individuals that we are. I read somewhere that love is not about recognizing the perfect person, but rather loving the imperfect person perfectly. I cannot trust somebody who has not made mistakes in their lives. It is because that in order to take a chance, you have to be prepared to accept failure as an outcome. Not that you welcome it(failure) with open arms, but that you know that it may loom behind Door #1. Its alright to be careful, but it is nerve racking to be TOO careful, ya understand?
What's worse is that you come across those folks who only listen to the chorus Stevie's "When I Fall In Love(Next Time It'll Be Forever)" having never been in love ONCE!!! Fuckin' dreamers and prudes, I tell you!!! Holding on to a belief that is antiquated and not practical. Let alone, something that really does not bear any fruit whatso ever! It is a travesty to hold on too strongly to the belief that the first person you share post-coital sweat with is the same person you say "I do" to. You think I'm bitter now, imagine how mentally unstable I would be had I said this to MY first....
So that is why I accept people for who they are. If I feel them, then I feel them. its not a whole lot to ponder or worry about. Especially since I know I'm only human and have made mistakes in my life. In obliging so, it would just make Rachelle Ferrell and Will Downing's "Nothing Has Ever Felt" THAT MORE meaningful because "Lord knows that unlike you, I'm not perfect"....
We should not place a premium on those who are batting 1.000 in the game of love. Chances are, they got a lucky swing and never let go. I'd rather have the person who got dumped over the email server or spent textbook money on some fool who is not even thinking about what lies ahead 3 years down the road. Them people that have been burned by romance, who accept that love at times can hurt like hell, are the ones we should embrace. Largely because they have the wisdom to know that true love takes blood sweat and tears to find, catch, and maintain.
And I've had a lot of loves
And I know you had a lot of loves, too
But I ain`t never had nobody
that do the things you do"
-"Forever Mine" by The O'Jays
Why is it a problem for some folks to believe and accept that by the time that you reach a certain age, that sexually, you are NOT going to be their "first"? Even after 25 years of age, I find it hard to believe that somebody would have had less than 10 partners. If I hear that come out of a chick's mouth, I'm quickly asking for some salt.
The world would be a better place if we changed our views on prior sexual relationships and accepted people for the fallable individuals that we are. I read somewhere that love is not about recognizing the perfect person, but rather loving the imperfect person perfectly. I cannot trust somebody who has not made mistakes in their lives. It is because that in order to take a chance, you have to be prepared to accept failure as an outcome. Not that you welcome it(failure) with open arms, but that you know that it may loom behind Door #1. Its alright to be careful, but it is nerve racking to be TOO careful, ya understand?
What's worse is that you come across those folks who only listen to the chorus Stevie's "When I Fall In Love(Next Time It'll Be Forever)" having never been in love ONCE!!! Fuckin' dreamers and prudes, I tell you!!! Holding on to a belief that is antiquated and not practical. Let alone, something that really does not bear any fruit whatso ever! It is a travesty to hold on too strongly to the belief that the first person you share post-coital sweat with is the same person you say "I do" to. You think I'm bitter now, imagine how mentally unstable I would be had I said this to MY first....
So that is why I accept people for who they are. If I feel them, then I feel them. its not a whole lot to ponder or worry about. Especially since I know I'm only human and have made mistakes in my life. In obliging so, it would just make Rachelle Ferrell and Will Downing's "Nothing Has Ever Felt" THAT MORE meaningful because "Lord knows that unlike you, I'm not perfect"....
We should not place a premium on those who are batting 1.000 in the game of love. Chances are, they got a lucky swing and never let go. I'd rather have the person who got dumped over the email server or spent textbook money on some fool who is not even thinking about what lies ahead 3 years down the road. Them people that have been burned by romance, who accept that love at times can hurt like hell, are the ones we should embrace. Largely because they have the wisdom to know that true love takes blood sweat and tears to find, catch, and maintain.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Likka.......
"Liquor"
4th of July weekend I was at home in Chicago like always. Visiting family and friends, taking in The Taste of Chicago(The Taste) and just having fun altogether. I hook up with some friends in town and some who came in from out-of-town to do some celebrating. I hook up with my guy Sean who is in from Montgomery, AL. Dee, Monifah, and Dara who came up from ATL. My guy Eric from Richmond, VA and the rest of my Chi-town folks(Ave(ry), Terri, Donnie, Sam, Raina, Mike, Jason, IllWill, and a host of others.
We all meet up at Sam's crib in "Boys' Town". Boys' Town is the gay neighborhood on the North Side. being a South Sider, sometimes you don't know where Boys' Town is exactly. let alone where it starts/ends. For all I know, I could have been in lincoln park or Mid-town for the matter. but I saw some rainbow flags on the main thoroughfares, so i'm guessing that I was in Boys' Town. It was definately the North Side because there wasn't anywhere to park either!!! We meet at Sam's and its a nice dig. he's got 2 other roommates and they seem cool. They bounce and do their thing while everybody else in my crew files in to the spot.
Once everybody gets there, we decide to hit up this once club downtown because they will be shooting an episode of "Punk'd". Its no problem because 2 of the guys in my entourage works at this said club and have no qualms or beliefs that none of us will be rejected. Should have seen this coming as though most of us are not "beautiful people" nor are we pop culture members. Except for jason, we were all Black, hip-hop/BoHo types. Black counter culture, if you will. Most of us don't have on the proper clothes that meet most of the dress codes in any club. Mike had to run Dee to his house, to find some clothes that would come clothes to "acceptable"....
Now while all this is going on jason, breaks out his fresh new batch of weed brownies. Jason loves to please and is one hella weed smoker. two things that don't happen too often, but are great when they do! I'm asthmatic and he knows this, so he likes me to be around whenever he has his brownies because then we can get high together without the sounds of me imitating Biggie on "Ready To Die"!!! I have one. You can never have two because his shit is hella potent. I get my one and move like its nothing. Another thing about Jason's weed brownies is that you don't even taste the weed in them....
We all partake and bounce to this club. While in line we meet up again with Mike and Dee who has on this daishiki looking white shirt with an Ankh across the chest. i immediately began to think that this was used in a weddding for boho black folks. And surely enough, it was!!! We're all in line chillin and shooting the shit when we come to the realization that we ain't getting in. The club is on some "Studio 54" shit and some of us start thinking alternatively about the night's plans. Then comes the idea of hitting the strip clubs. Which looking back, seems to play a significant part of my nightlife whenever I do it big! we can't think of any that we all like(guys and girls included). So Ave comes up with the idea of just hitting a bar.
So we hit up The South Loop Club/Bar right across the street from Jones HS. Its also righ across the street from a Homeless Shelter that has panhandling bums 25/8/367. Its a sight to see folks purposely ignore the bums and folks there, because they don't want to give money. But we hit up The South Loop because, hey, its good times in that mu'fucka!!! Keep in mind that Jason's brownie has not taken effect on me yet.
So we get there. Its me, Ave, Terri, Donnie, Mike and Dara. We decide to take tequila shots. I'm a soldier. I've been hooked on tequila snce I made a trip to SoCal back in '01 with Donnie. Double shots of Jose Cuervo were done for 4 days straight while in "El "Lay"....Why stop doing that when the location changes, right? So we order to take double shots of tequila. Awww right!!!! We do one! BAM! No problems! We all some drunkards too, so we are (((FOCUSED))) on these shots. We do round number two. BAM!! No problems.
its a packed night so we take our time getting the next round ordered and delivered. All the while, after round two I'm starting to feel funny. My stomach is hella mad at me. For something i wasn't aware of. Kinda like an immature adult..... Then it hits me: my dumbass INGESTED weed and had 4 shots of likka right after. no waiting for the weed to digest or let the effects happen before I drink. Oh no....Not me! I did it pretty much back to back! So lets commence the suffering and sickness.
I begin to feel queasy. My stomach is bubbling and churning. My head is down on the table. Right in front of me is another shot of tequila. Ave is lloking at me worried. Donnie is also. They're my boys so of course they know when I ain't right. I get some energy up and head to the bathroom. I'm feeling not only sick and shit, but my ass is getting sleepy. Which is what happens whenever I take one of jason's weed brownies. I make it to the bathroom and plant myself near the toilet witing to see if I throw up. I don't and I stand there for about 15 minutes.
Nothing
I piss.
Still no throwing up.
So i head back to the table and cats is taking down another round of tequila. they also got me some cheese sticks to see if I had swalloed those to see if that would settle down my stomach. I couldn't even eat those!!! Y'all don't know how much I love cheese sticks. I just lay my head back down and rest. Attempt to rest, really. A few minutes later peeps decide that we should bounce and get me home. But they wanted to wait for that first upchuck to happen, ya know! they keep asking if I'm alright and stuff. When i get to second "notice" that I might need to make it to the bathroom, I bounce! I get to the toilet and just bawl....
Think about that one scene in "The Exorcist".
Yeah, keep thinking about it, because it took a while to get it out!
To go along with all this, the effects from the brownie are hitting me hella hard. I'm tired. I can't think. My body is slow in reacting. I lose strength to stand. Not a very good combination to have at this time. But it happens. My legs give out. I'm on the floor on my knees. Still doing my re-enactment from that movie. My mind said "Fuck it..." to my aim and to any regard to what I had on. I couldn't even control my mouth. It just stayed open while all of this is going on! but then the inconceivable happens.....
I FALL ASLEEP!!!!
What the fuck? This shit ain't never happen to me before! i usually have better control than this! but then again, how often do i partake of Jason's weed brownies? Mmmm, about as often as them ciccadas come around. So this was definatley unchartered waters for me. Here i am, on my knees in front of a toilet. Bodily fluids all over my chest and mouth. All over the toilet. And I'm out!!!!
Ave had to come and get me from the men's room and with the help of one of the bouncers drag me out to his truck. They propped me up against the wall while Terri and Mike made sure that I didn't choke or fall out(again). Ave comes thru with his truck and has me in the front seat, with my head sticking out of the window. We are zooming down Michicagn avenue at 3:30 in the morning!!! Luckily, I didn't throw up again that night. Oh man, I was literally SHIT-FACED!!
I called up Ave and Donnie just to see if my mind didn't remember any other mishaps(like fucking a fat bitch). Thank gawd, they said that it was the extent of my troubles placed on them that night.
4th of July weekend I was at home in Chicago like always. Visiting family and friends, taking in The Taste of Chicago(The Taste) and just having fun altogether. I hook up with some friends in town and some who came in from out-of-town to do some celebrating. I hook up with my guy Sean who is in from Montgomery, AL. Dee, Monifah, and Dara who came up from ATL. My guy Eric from Richmond, VA and the rest of my Chi-town folks(Ave(ry), Terri, Donnie, Sam, Raina, Mike, Jason, IllWill, and a host of others.
We all meet up at Sam's crib in "Boys' Town". Boys' Town is the gay neighborhood on the North Side. being a South Sider, sometimes you don't know where Boys' Town is exactly. let alone where it starts/ends. For all I know, I could have been in lincoln park or Mid-town for the matter. but I saw some rainbow flags on the main thoroughfares, so i'm guessing that I was in Boys' Town. It was definately the North Side because there wasn't anywhere to park either!!! We meet at Sam's and its a nice dig. he's got 2 other roommates and they seem cool. They bounce and do their thing while everybody else in my crew files in to the spot.
Once everybody gets there, we decide to hit up this once club downtown because they will be shooting an episode of "Punk'd". Its no problem because 2 of the guys in my entourage works at this said club and have no qualms or beliefs that none of us will be rejected. Should have seen this coming as though most of us are not "beautiful people" nor are we pop culture members. Except for jason, we were all Black, hip-hop/BoHo types. Black counter culture, if you will. Most of us don't have on the proper clothes that meet most of the dress codes in any club. Mike had to run Dee to his house, to find some clothes that would come clothes to "acceptable"....
Now while all this is going on jason, breaks out his fresh new batch of weed brownies. Jason loves to please and is one hella weed smoker. two things that don't happen too often, but are great when they do! I'm asthmatic and he knows this, so he likes me to be around whenever he has his brownies because then we can get high together without the sounds of me imitating Biggie on "Ready To Die"!!! I have one. You can never have two because his shit is hella potent. I get my one and move like its nothing. Another thing about Jason's weed brownies is that you don't even taste the weed in them....
We all partake and bounce to this club. While in line we meet up again with Mike and Dee who has on this daishiki looking white shirt with an Ankh across the chest. i immediately began to think that this was used in a weddding for boho black folks. And surely enough, it was!!! We're all in line chillin and shooting the shit when we come to the realization that we ain't getting in. The club is on some "Studio 54" shit and some of us start thinking alternatively about the night's plans. Then comes the idea of hitting the strip clubs. Which looking back, seems to play a significant part of my nightlife whenever I do it big! we can't think of any that we all like(guys and girls included). So Ave comes up with the idea of just hitting a bar.
So we hit up The South Loop Club/Bar right across the street from Jones HS. Its also righ across the street from a Homeless Shelter that has panhandling bums 25/8/367. Its a sight to see folks purposely ignore the bums and folks there, because they don't want to give money. But we hit up The South Loop because, hey, its good times in that mu'fucka!!! Keep in mind that Jason's brownie has not taken effect on me yet.
So we get there. Its me, Ave, Terri, Donnie, Mike and Dara. We decide to take tequila shots. I'm a soldier. I've been hooked on tequila snce I made a trip to SoCal back in '01 with Donnie. Double shots of Jose Cuervo were done for 4 days straight while in "El "Lay"....Why stop doing that when the location changes, right? So we order to take double shots of tequila. Awww right!!!! We do one! BAM! No problems! We all some drunkards too, so we are (((FOCUSED))) on these shots. We do round number two. BAM!! No problems.
its a packed night so we take our time getting the next round ordered and delivered. All the while, after round two I'm starting to feel funny. My stomach is hella mad at me. For something i wasn't aware of. Kinda like an immature adult..... Then it hits me: my dumbass INGESTED weed and had 4 shots of likka right after. no waiting for the weed to digest or let the effects happen before I drink. Oh no....Not me! I did it pretty much back to back! So lets commence the suffering and sickness.
I begin to feel queasy. My stomach is bubbling and churning. My head is down on the table. Right in front of me is another shot of tequila. Ave is lloking at me worried. Donnie is also. They're my boys so of course they know when I ain't right. I get some energy up and head to the bathroom. I'm feeling not only sick and shit, but my ass is getting sleepy. Which is what happens whenever I take one of jason's weed brownies. I make it to the bathroom and plant myself near the toilet witing to see if I throw up. I don't and I stand there for about 15 minutes.
Nothing
I piss.
Still no throwing up.
So i head back to the table and cats is taking down another round of tequila. they also got me some cheese sticks to see if I had swalloed those to see if that would settle down my stomach. I couldn't even eat those!!! Y'all don't know how much I love cheese sticks. I just lay my head back down and rest. Attempt to rest, really. A few minutes later peeps decide that we should bounce and get me home. But they wanted to wait for that first upchuck to happen, ya know! they keep asking if I'm alright and stuff. When i get to second "notice" that I might need to make it to the bathroom, I bounce! I get to the toilet and just bawl....
Think about that one scene in "The Exorcist".
Yeah, keep thinking about it, because it took a while to get it out!
To go along with all this, the effects from the brownie are hitting me hella hard. I'm tired. I can't think. My body is slow in reacting. I lose strength to stand. Not a very good combination to have at this time. But it happens. My legs give out. I'm on the floor on my knees. Still doing my re-enactment from that movie. My mind said "Fuck it..." to my aim and to any regard to what I had on. I couldn't even control my mouth. It just stayed open while all of this is going on! but then the inconceivable happens.....
I FALL ASLEEP!!!!
What the fuck? This shit ain't never happen to me before! i usually have better control than this! but then again, how often do i partake of Jason's weed brownies? Mmmm, about as often as them ciccadas come around. So this was definatley unchartered waters for me. Here i am, on my knees in front of a toilet. Bodily fluids all over my chest and mouth. All over the toilet. And I'm out!!!!
Ave had to come and get me from the men's room and with the help of one of the bouncers drag me out to his truck. They propped me up against the wall while Terri and Mike made sure that I didn't choke or fall out(again). Ave comes thru with his truck and has me in the front seat, with my head sticking out of the window. We are zooming down Michicagn avenue at 3:30 in the morning!!! Luckily, I didn't throw up again that night. Oh man, I was literally SHIT-FACED!!
I called up Ave and Donnie just to see if my mind didn't remember any other mishaps(like fucking a fat bitch). Thank gawd, they said that it was the extent of my troubles placed on them that night.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Julie Gianni- Part Two
So in continuing my diatribe about "Julie Gianni"........
A fuck buddy is that somebody that is on your level, but not compatible across the board. There are a few areas in their personality that you just can't deal with. They are not "right" but they are "right now". Practically, you just want to have a continuing one night stand for several weeks or months. They are that canteen of water you carry while looking for the bigger body of freshwater. I dunno. You should get the point by now.
Where they enter "Julie Gianni" stages is when they develope feelings that cannot be reciprocated. They get srpung. They can't get enough of you. They want to see "you", but you're emotionally unavailable because, well, you're not trying to be in a relationship. Somehow they miss the possibility that you're not trying to be in one and hence you've cut off your emotional access entrances. But this drives them further into delusion. Its patheitc now that you see these "Giannis"(plural) trying to convince the other party that the two are meant for each other.
All the while the other party is looking for *that* one and much to the dismay of "Julie Gianni", this does not bode well. Mainly because "Julie Gianni" feels that they are the best thing since sliced bread, and that nobody else is right for you. Even this mope of a new thing, who is firmly and calmy inside their skin has caught your attention.
I've been "Julie Gianni". Not for long because my big bro schooled me on such matters of rehabilitation. But for those who are not privy to such sage advice, I'm here to help. With only a few more sentences.....
Just cause you beautiful and s/he beautiful doesn't necessarilly mean that Y'ALL beautiful. Honestly, y'all could get together and have all shit the fan. One of y'all could pull and Marcus Graham and have a thing against crusty feet or night time facial masks. In the end, y'all can get together and make some godforsaken ugly ass'd babies that you don't want to acknowledge!!! You really do have to take into account that something is not working, and both of y'all should just move on.
Besides, buses come every 15 minutes and The Game does not wait for NOBODY!
A fuck buddy is that somebody that is on your level, but not compatible across the board. There are a few areas in their personality that you just can't deal with. They are not "right" but they are "right now". Practically, you just want to have a continuing one night stand for several weeks or months. They are that canteen of water you carry while looking for the bigger body of freshwater. I dunno. You should get the point by now.
Where they enter "Julie Gianni" stages is when they develope feelings that cannot be reciprocated. They get srpung. They can't get enough of you. They want to see "you", but you're emotionally unavailable because, well, you're not trying to be in a relationship. Somehow they miss the possibility that you're not trying to be in one and hence you've cut off your emotional access entrances. But this drives them further into delusion. Its patheitc now that you see these "Giannis"(plural) trying to convince the other party that the two are meant for each other.
All the while the other party is looking for *that* one and much to the dismay of "Julie Gianni", this does not bode well. Mainly because "Julie Gianni" feels that they are the best thing since sliced bread, and that nobody else is right for you. Even this mope of a new thing, who is firmly and calmy inside their skin has caught your attention.
I've been "Julie Gianni". Not for long because my big bro schooled me on such matters of rehabilitation. But for those who are not privy to such sage advice, I'm here to help. With only a few more sentences.....
Just cause you beautiful and s/he beautiful doesn't necessarilly mean that Y'ALL beautiful. Honestly, y'all could get together and have all shit the fan. One of y'all could pull and Marcus Graham and have a thing against crusty feet or night time facial masks. In the end, y'all can get together and make some godforsaken ugly ass'd babies that you don't want to acknowledge!!! You really do have to take into account that something is not working, and both of y'all should just move on.
Besides, buses come every 15 minutes and The Game does not wait for NOBODY!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Julie Gianni ass-type chicks
A few years back me and the big bro were talking about "Vanilla Sky" and its varied themes and the acting and all that good shit. He liked how cameron Diaz played her character(Julianna Gianni) since he knew a few chicks like that from his days in college. he couldn't help but blurt out randomly the infamous line from the suicide scene("I swallowed your cum!!!") the rest of the day. I knew where he was coming/going but that was years ago. I didn't fully appreciate it until recently. Mainly because I had never really experienced it and understood it subtle nuances to laugh even harder with big bro.
But now I am wiser and and have experienced such a phenomenom that is "A Julie Gianni".... It is quite disheartening and from an emotionally detached standpoint, quite pathetic to see and be witness to. However, that is life and one should be prepared for such experiences.
The whole premise is that a Julie Gianni is what happens when a fuck buddy goes bad. Feelings get caught and un-reciprocated. Its not gender specific, its just my point of view on things being hetero. But anyways, here she is, a beautiful woman, desired by most and the guy she is with is her male equivalent. They kicked it. They never really went out because, they were just having sex with no strings attached, at least that is what he thought. But as the story progresses, we soon find out that some feelings were being developed and not returned. HERS! She sees that dude is now attracted to somebody else.
Somebody, not really thought of as being as "hot like me". Gimpish would be a cruel word to use. But hey, Julie Gianni would use it to describe the new chick. The new chick might not have the glamour. The attention grabbing, outwardly drawn in savoire-faire like her. the new chick floats under the radar. She can be, and at times is, comfortable with who she is and has a steady hand in what it is she is trying to do. That whole calm boat in a stormy seas thing. Jesus could even be inside of her commanding "Peace, be still". Which is something that Julie Gianni lacks and cannot fathom that this is quite possibly why her beau is attracted to such a thing.
But now I am wiser and and have experienced such a phenomenom that is "A Julie Gianni".... It is quite disheartening and from an emotionally detached standpoint, quite pathetic to see and be witness to. However, that is life and one should be prepared for such experiences.
The whole premise is that a Julie Gianni is what happens when a fuck buddy goes bad. Feelings get caught and un-reciprocated. Its not gender specific, its just my point of view on things being hetero. But anyways, here she is, a beautiful woman, desired by most and the guy she is with is her male equivalent. They kicked it. They never really went out because, they were just having sex with no strings attached, at least that is what he thought. But as the story progresses, we soon find out that some feelings were being developed and not returned. HERS! She sees that dude is now attracted to somebody else.
Somebody, not really thought of as being as "hot like me". Gimpish would be a cruel word to use. But hey, Julie Gianni would use it to describe the new chick. The new chick might not have the glamour. The attention grabbing, outwardly drawn in savoire-faire like her. the new chick floats under the radar. She can be, and at times is, comfortable with who she is and has a steady hand in what it is she is trying to do. That whole calm boat in a stormy seas thing. Jesus could even be inside of her commanding "Peace, be still". Which is something that Julie Gianni lacks and cannot fathom that this is quite possibly why her beau is attracted to such a thing.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Charm
I need to step up this aspect of my conversational skills. I used to be some what good at it. But then, I started feeling like I wasn't getting anything back as far as compliments. Even worse, those who I did give compliments to, felt as though they were entitled to even more(read: favors) from me because they mis-read the compliments as being flirtatious. Some times, the results of such complmentary spoken words led to both positive and negative misunderstandings. Which in the end fucked it up for me and led me to my "sabbatical" from being a charming practitioner of conversation.
I admit, at times I was being flirtatious. However, as being a charmer, it should be standard policy(and procedure) that one should not expect anything in return or jest once a compliment has been spoken to another party. For flirting only begins when a few compliments have been exchanged between two parties. That is the starter kit. This is where I will be beginning in my pursuit of bettering my conversational skills.
I have no problems trying to work a smile out of a woman(young and old). Even at my job, I will charm the male customers with a joke or witty observation. I've been doing it for months. But now I need to actively build up my skills to be "on point" no matter the person or arena. Ultimately, I want to be known as a wonderful and CHARMING man who has a good sense of conversation and is well-read. All this I hope will be accomplished by the time I leave CoMO!!!
I admit, at times I was being flirtatious. However, as being a charmer, it should be standard policy(and procedure) that one should not expect anything in return or jest once a compliment has been spoken to another party. For flirting only begins when a few compliments have been exchanged between two parties. That is the starter kit. This is where I will be beginning in my pursuit of bettering my conversational skills.
I have no problems trying to work a smile out of a woman(young and old). Even at my job, I will charm the male customers with a joke or witty observation. I've been doing it for months. But now I need to actively build up my skills to be "on point" no matter the person or arena. Ultimately, I want to be known as a wonderful and CHARMING man who has a good sense of conversation and is well-read. All this I hope will be accomplished by the time I leave CoMO!!!
Sunday, October 09, 2005
On: Interracial RelationSHIT
Have you ever asked a black woman/gurrl/girl this question:
If you found out that a guy that you liked, had dated/fucked a White/Asian/Latina/Non-Black woman before, would he become LESS attractive you?
Do it!
Remember Nike's trademark motto....
F'rill, conduct a random poll and hear the answers you'll get. Chances are, there will be more reason to scratch head about the logic practiced by the female species after you hear the reasoning behind their answers. I can't understand it(again)!!! Guys are different. No doubt. Not too many bros. see a chick as less attractive if she's dated somebody outside of their race. Personally, I'm happy for them in that they tried something different. They ventured out to experience something (possibly) different. They may have had mixed feelings about the experience, but I can NOT knock them for trying.
Sistas........
I love y'all. But damn if y'all be on some shit sometimes!
If you found out that a guy that you liked, had dated/fucked a White/Asian/Latina/Non-Black woman before, would he become LESS attractive you?
Do it!
Remember Nike's trademark motto....
F'rill, conduct a random poll and hear the answers you'll get. Chances are, there will be more reason to scratch head about the logic practiced by the female species after you hear the reasoning behind their answers. I can't understand it(again)!!! Guys are different. No doubt. Not too many bros. see a chick as less attractive if she's dated somebody outside of their race. Personally, I'm happy for them in that they tried something different. They ventured out to experience something (possibly) different. They may have had mixed feelings about the experience, but I can NOT knock them for trying.
Sistas........
I love y'all. But damn if y'all be on some shit sometimes!
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
For all those against B.T.P.U.
(Beat The Pussy Up)
I had an email dialogue with a female friend of mine and she shared her thoughts about talking dirty before/during/after sex. One particular comment caught my attention in regards to my beliefs on B.T.P.U.
I tend to accompany dirty talk with bite/lick combinations. I find myself doing it moreso when I start to hear noise from the guy. A nigga get real cocky then: "This pussy feel good huh?" "Fuck this pussy like it's yours" "give me that dick." Mostly something that makes obvious how bad I want the dick or any combination of "pussy" and "daddy" in order to hype him up into fucking me like I want to be fucked. I whisper and urge him to do the same because I like being able to hear how wet my shit is when he's inside. My whispering in unison with that sticky sound you hear when you're stirring macaroni and cheese all conspire to make me even more horny...then there's no other choice but doggy.
If she's happy, then I'm happy.......
I had an email dialogue with a female friend of mine and she shared her thoughts about talking dirty before/during/after sex. One particular comment caught my attention in regards to my beliefs on B.T.P.U.
I tend to accompany dirty talk with bite/lick combinations. I find myself doing it moreso when I start to hear noise from the guy. A nigga get real cocky then: "This pussy feel good huh?" "Fuck this pussy like it's yours" "give me that dick." Mostly something that makes obvious how bad I want the dick or any combination of "pussy" and "daddy" in order to hype him up into fucking me like I want to be fucked. I whisper and urge him to do the same because I like being able to hear how wet my shit is when he's inside. My whispering in unison with that sticky sound you hear when you're stirring macaroni and cheese all conspire to make me even more horny...then there's no other choice but doggy.
If she's happy, then I'm happy.......
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
On: Nice guys finishing last......
I used to think that I was a nice guy. Honestly, I felt that it was my ticket into some good loving/relationship things. I was a Mam's Boy(In denial), raised in the church, never really cussed(not cursed!), and so forth. I knew how to massage body parts and listen to a person. My Momma raised me well.
But then I went to college......
The chicks that I wanted. That I listened to lament on and on about the defects of men, led me to believe that if EYE managed to not fuck up and do what it is they asked, I'd get in. WRONG!!!(c) Charlie Murphy. That shit was for the birds. For a while, I was lamenting about nice gys finishig last and blah blah blah.... but fuck the bullshit! If you are wondering where it is that you stand in a gurrl's eye, just pull ya dick out(re:show ya ass) in front of her. Let her know that you're man wuith sexual needs. Go biblical if you have to and say "Man cannot live on bread and water alone..." or quote St. Luther Vandross "I'm not meant to live alone". Start there and move forward depending on the reaction from her.
If she ain't feeling you, put ya dick back in ya pants, walk over to the next dorm room of a cutie that you know.
On the reals, to make a long rant longer, I confided in some older heads and it became known that you do not do that shit with a women unless she's trying to be with YOU. If she ain't seen the light that you are/that is EWE then you should change the subject of the conversation post haste. Let that banter go through one ear and out the other. Start guessing her bra size. Do whatever it is you can do, without listening to her ramble on and on. If she wants you, she wants you. No if and or but. She will gladly give you The Butt if she wants to.
As far as the whole nice guiys finishing last movement, here is a very good thought:
Ok, now as a general rule I don't carry water for the 'nice guys finish last' movement because its as hugely flawed as the 'all men are dogs' movement.
So, what's wrong with it? In my opinion, the absolute lack of personal responsibility involved in just blaming women. Here's the thing. If you are a guy who has been failing in love and is constantly complaining about your inability to meet women because of your 'niceness' here are a few questions.
What makes you 'nice'? Is it just that you are to passive to state a contrary opinion around a woman you like? Or that you are too scared to be upfront about whether or not you are attracted to her?
Is there any way it could possibly be you that's the problem? I'm just saying, if you look like you could be cast as The Blob in the next x-men movie and haven't taken a bath since Clinton was president maybe your 'niceness' isn't the issue.
Also, if you are walking up to women fully expecting to get shot down to the degree that it shows up in your face and body language don't be surprised when it happens. Insecurity is never cute, especially if you're the man. You might want to look into building up your confidence first. Hell, mine fails me on occasion, I just don't blame that on the women.
The second part of this issue is what women you are looking at. If you are constantly hanging around the same crowd and not getting any play you might want to consider the possibility that you should try somwhere else. If you are getting play and its always fucked up, you might want to look somewhere else. Instead of going after the cheerleaders you might want to consider the cute girl in glasses who sits across from you in lab etc. Different women like different things. Not all of them are going to 'get' you. Hell, maybe even the majority won't. But if people who like scatagories are able to find partners, chances are you'll do okay if you keep looking instead of assuming that they can't possibly exist.
Sidenote 1:
Now does this mean I don't believe that there are a large number of women whose dating preferences skew towards men they can 'fix' or 'help discover their softer sides' etc..
Nope, I'd bet money that I'm right about that phenomenon. I just choose to not involve myself with those women because they aren't looking for me anyway
Sidenote 2:
To all the 'I can't find a good man', 'men like drama', 'they all cheat' etc... women. You might want to glance through those questions too. Lord knows some of you need it
But then I went to college......
The chicks that I wanted. That I listened to lament on and on about the defects of men, led me to believe that if EYE managed to not fuck up and do what it is they asked, I'd get in. WRONG!!!(c) Charlie Murphy. That shit was for the birds. For a while, I was lamenting about nice gys finishig last and blah blah blah.... but fuck the bullshit! If you are wondering where it is that you stand in a gurrl's eye, just pull ya dick out(re:show ya ass) in front of her. Let her know that you're man wuith sexual needs. Go biblical if you have to and say "Man cannot live on bread and water alone..." or quote St. Luther Vandross "I'm not meant to live alone". Start there and move forward depending on the reaction from her.
If she ain't feeling you, put ya dick back in ya pants, walk over to the next dorm room of a cutie that you know.
On the reals, to make a long rant longer, I confided in some older heads and it became known that you do not do that shit with a women unless she's trying to be with YOU. If she ain't seen the light that you are/that is EWE then you should change the subject of the conversation post haste. Let that banter go through one ear and out the other. Start guessing her bra size. Do whatever it is you can do, without listening to her ramble on and on. If she wants you, she wants you. No if and or but. She will gladly give you The Butt if she wants to.
As far as the whole nice guiys finishing last movement, here is a very good thought:
Ok, now as a general rule I don't carry water for the 'nice guys finish last' movement because its as hugely flawed as the 'all men are dogs' movement.
So, what's wrong with it? In my opinion, the absolute lack of personal responsibility involved in just blaming women. Here's the thing. If you are a guy who has been failing in love and is constantly complaining about your inability to meet women because of your 'niceness' here are a few questions.
What makes you 'nice'? Is it just that you are to passive to state a contrary opinion around a woman you like? Or that you are too scared to be upfront about whether or not you are attracted to her?
Is there any way it could possibly be you that's the problem? I'm just saying, if you look like you could be cast as The Blob in the next x-men movie and haven't taken a bath since Clinton was president maybe your 'niceness' isn't the issue.
Also, if you are walking up to women fully expecting to get shot down to the degree that it shows up in your face and body language don't be surprised when it happens. Insecurity is never cute, especially if you're the man. You might want to look into building up your confidence first. Hell, mine fails me on occasion, I just don't blame that on the women.
The second part of this issue is what women you are looking at. If you are constantly hanging around the same crowd and not getting any play you might want to consider the possibility that you should try somwhere else. If you are getting play and its always fucked up, you might want to look somewhere else. Instead of going after the cheerleaders you might want to consider the cute girl in glasses who sits across from you in lab etc. Different women like different things. Not all of them are going to 'get' you. Hell, maybe even the majority won't. But if people who like scatagories are able to find partners, chances are you'll do okay if you keep looking instead of assuming that they can't possibly exist.
Sidenote 1:
Now does this mean I don't believe that there are a large number of women whose dating preferences skew towards men they can 'fix' or 'help discover their softer sides' etc..
Nope, I'd bet money that I'm right about that phenomenon. I just choose to not involve myself with those women because they aren't looking for me anyway
Sidenote 2:
To all the 'I can't find a good man', 'men like drama', 'they all cheat' etc... women. You might want to glance through those questions too. Lord knows some of you need it
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Thinking about death
How do I (you) wanna go out? I have thought about this recently, especially now that I have turned 26 years old. And I remember hearing some Richard Pryor album not too long ago. This nigga said "I wanna die in some pussy".....
Funny shit!!!!
Saint Richard Pyror of Peoria said that. St. Augustine before he became a monk couldn't even fathom that quote!!!!
But yeah, I gave some thought to this and well...
There isn't a single person I like that I want to fuck over like that, and, there isn't a single person that I dislike that I want to give the satisfaction of believing that there slime.slit is that powerful.
If anything, I'll get shot....
Funny shit!!!!
Saint Richard Pyror of Peoria said that. St. Augustine before he became a monk couldn't even fathom that quote!!!!
But yeah, I gave some thought to this and well...
There isn't a single person I like that I want to fuck over like that, and, there isn't a single person that I dislike that I want to give the satisfaction of believing that there slime.slit is that powerful.
If anything, I'll get shot....
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Weekends in The Fall Season
I'm really missing out on my football games now. I work Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays. 2-10 pm and I miss ALL football games. Shit is not acceptable!!!! I realized this just this past weekend where I missed Iowa State upset Iowa and oipening sunday of the NFL(bears still lost, but still!). To top it all off, i just got this new drinking game for ESPN Sunday Night NFL:
Here's how to play:
• Set yourself up with a minimum of six beers for the three-hour game. If the Ravens are playing (and they are just about every other week), grab eight.
• Take the assigned number of swigs — about the equivalent of one ounce, or 12 swigs per bottle/can. Do NOT drink when Paul Maguire is speaking. You might spit it up.
• If any of the "chug" criteria is met, you must finish your beer, even if you have to take a leak really badly.
DRINK WHEN MIKE PATRICK...
1 - Raves over the offensive line on a three-yard run
1 - Says a player is one of the best in the NFL when you can name 10 others at his position who are better
1 - Says the home crowd is making it too loud to hear, even though your neighbors can hear him through your TV
1 - Says "What a day in the NFL!"
1 - Says "Are you kidding me?!"
1 - Describes a play as "unbelievable," "amazing" or "incredible." Important: the play itself does not have to be remotely unbelievable, amazing or incredible
1 - Refers to a player as "one of the all-time greats"
1 - Calls a player one of the most underrated in the league
2 - Makes you lower the volume
2 - Says "Let's go down to Suzy Kolber. Suzy."
Chug - Says "Let's go down on Suzy Kolber. Suzy."
Chug - Breaks your ear drum
DRINK WHEN PAUL MAGUIRE...
1 - Prefaces any analysis with "I'm a tell ya what."
1 - Says "I'm gonna tell ya something" right before actually telling you something
1 - Says the word "watch" more than twice on any instant replay, as if you were doing anything but watching
1 - Says something you didn't already know
1 - Admits to being scared of Ray Lewis
1 - Says he talked to a player/coach earlier in the week
2 - Calls Theismann "Joseph"
Chug - Calls Theismann "an idiot"
DRINK WHEN JOE THEISMANN...
1 - Utters the phrase "like a Bill Parcells."
1 - Mentions his own playing career
1 - Points out a flaw in a quarterback's mechanics, whether or not the replay backs it up
1 - Says "What impresses me most about..."
1 - Mentions Notre Dame in any capacity
1 - Says he talked to a player/coach earlier in the week
1 - Says "If I'm the ..."
2 - Offers a team advice "if they wanna win this game," as if they're on the fence about whether or not they want to win
2 - Refers to his punting career (one punt for one yard in 1985)
2 - Predicts a penalty that goes the other way
Chug - Refers, again, to any historical genius as "Norman Einstein."
DRINK WHEN...
1 - Ray Lewis is mic'ed up
1 - Ray Lewis is mentioned when the Ravens aren't playing
1 - A special-teams coach is said to have done "a great job"
1 – Patriots mentioned as a “dynasty” (2 if they aren’t playing)
1 – An offense is referred to as “High Flying”
2 - One of the three announcers accuses another of avoiding dinner checks
Chug - A drunken Hall of Fame quarterback hits on a marginally attractive sideline reporter
Chug - The Ravens are playing and anyone but Ray Lewis is mic'ed up
Chug - Any of the SFL crew mentions Ray Lewis' criminal record
Here's how to play:
• Set yourself up with a minimum of six beers for the three-hour game. If the Ravens are playing (and they are just about every other week), grab eight.
• Take the assigned number of swigs — about the equivalent of one ounce, or 12 swigs per bottle/can. Do NOT drink when Paul Maguire is speaking. You might spit it up.
• If any of the "chug" criteria is met, you must finish your beer, even if you have to take a leak really badly.
DRINK WHEN MIKE PATRICK...
1 - Raves over the offensive line on a three-yard run
1 - Says a player is one of the best in the NFL when you can name 10 others at his position who are better
1 - Says the home crowd is making it too loud to hear, even though your neighbors can hear him through your TV
1 - Says "What a day in the NFL!"
1 - Says "Are you kidding me?!"
1 - Describes a play as "unbelievable," "amazing" or "incredible." Important: the play itself does not have to be remotely unbelievable, amazing or incredible
1 - Refers to a player as "one of the all-time greats"
1 - Calls a player one of the most underrated in the league
2 - Makes you lower the volume
2 - Says "Let's go down to Suzy Kolber. Suzy."
Chug - Says "Let's go down on Suzy Kolber. Suzy."
Chug - Breaks your ear drum
DRINK WHEN PAUL MAGUIRE...
1 - Prefaces any analysis with "I'm a tell ya what."
1 - Says "I'm gonna tell ya something" right before actually telling you something
1 - Says the word "watch" more than twice on any instant replay, as if you were doing anything but watching
1 - Says something you didn't already know
1 - Admits to being scared of Ray Lewis
1 - Says he talked to a player/coach earlier in the week
2 - Calls Theismann "Joseph"
Chug - Calls Theismann "an idiot"
DRINK WHEN JOE THEISMANN...
1 - Utters the phrase "like a Bill Parcells."
1 - Mentions his own playing career
1 - Points out a flaw in a quarterback's mechanics, whether or not the replay backs it up
1 - Says "What impresses me most about..."
1 - Mentions Notre Dame in any capacity
1 - Says he talked to a player/coach earlier in the week
1 - Says "If I'm the ..."
2 - Offers a team advice "if they wanna win this game," as if they're on the fence about whether or not they want to win
2 - Refers to his punting career (one punt for one yard in 1985)
2 - Predicts a penalty that goes the other way
Chug - Refers, again, to any historical genius as "Norman Einstein."
DRINK WHEN...
1 - Ray Lewis is mic'ed up
1 - Ray Lewis is mentioned when the Ravens aren't playing
1 - A special-teams coach is said to have done "a great job"
1 – Patriots mentioned as a “dynasty” (2 if they aren’t playing)
1 – An offense is referred to as “High Flying”
2 - One of the three announcers accuses another of avoiding dinner checks
Chug - A drunken Hall of Fame quarterback hits on a marginally attractive sideline reporter
Chug - The Ravens are playing and anyone but Ray Lewis is mic'ed up
Chug - Any of the SFL crew mentions Ray Lewis' criminal record
Saturday, September 10, 2005
Hidden meanings in songs
Getting older has its benefits. Like listening to a song that you knew the words verbatim while growing up. And then, while hearing the same song again you ca actually comprehend some of the words. The look of realization on one's face is a litle life tresaure for me!
Example #1
"In a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear" - Digital Underground "The Humpty Dance"
= Like a 10 year knew what a "69" was back in 1990!!!! I'm glad I found out by my 1st year of college...
Example #2
"More Bounce To The Ounce" - Zapp featuring Roger Troutman
= The whole song. And I must concure that once I realized that they were talking about a woman's body on the dancefloor, I wholeheartedly concurred!
I realize that back with my parents' generation, inuendo was really inuendo. But, once you experienced some things, you could know 'inuendo' very fluently. Kind of like knowing what "they're upstairs moving furniture" means. Hearing these songs, and having experienced a few things, knowing these hidden meanings just makes me feel like I accomplished something.
I've grown up a bit.
Example #1
"In a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear" - Digital Underground "The Humpty Dance"
= Like a 10 year knew what a "69" was back in 1990!!!! I'm glad I found out by my 1st year of college...
Example #2
"More Bounce To The Ounce" - Zapp featuring Roger Troutman
= The whole song. And I must concure that once I realized that they were talking about a woman's body on the dancefloor, I wholeheartedly concurred!
I realize that back with my parents' generation, inuendo was really inuendo. But, once you experienced some things, you could know 'inuendo' very fluently. Kind of like knowing what "they're upstairs moving furniture" means. Hearing these songs, and having experienced a few things, knowing these hidden meanings just makes me feel like I accomplished something.
I've grown up a bit.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Beat The Pussy Up-The Manifesto
Sometimes you just have to forget about her and her feelings. You ain't know? Its a woman's perogative to change her mind(i.e. feelings)!!!!
Best advice my Pops ever gave me. Too bad it was 5 years too late....
Unless you're really, really trying to build with her and lock her up as yours, you don't need to worry about whether or not SHE cums. Not until after she's hooked on you. We in college. That romance shit is not really needed for the rampant one night stands that are going around. If you are worrying about some chicks feelings after you met her at The American Legion party, then you are setting ya self up for failure.
If you want the CHANCE to build w/ her, that first time you hit it
BEAT THE PUSSY UP!!!!!
F'rill!!!!!!!!
Demolish it!!!!
Try to poke holes in her back. Flip her ass around, dont ask for anything, put her in the position you want her in. Pull her hair. But don't snatch the weave! Grab her throat! If you've got to kiss her...kiss her neck. Kiss her freckles like the song said and you're lucky that she has em!!! Don't sit around and play with the cooch. On some "youre so pretty...May I kiss you? May I lick your snatch? May I twiddle your clitoris w/ my fingers? May I gnaw on your nipples?" type shit.
NO FELLAS!
NO!!!
Take aggression out on it and let her know...this is what you'll get fucking w/ me on a regular basis. All that other sentimental shit comes out when you want more.
SHE'LL BE BACK
SHE'LL TELL ALL HER GIRLS
THEY WILL WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME PUSSY.
But if you want to build with her, and subsequently become a "Man", you know to turn that shit down. Besides, if you watch "Girlfriends" you'll know how some of these women roll with backstabbers and loose morals running rampant in each clique.
Am I stuttering?
*sigh*
You've got to approach the whole act like you know what YOU/YOU/YOU want! Thass 3 times for mind/body/soul, because all three gotta be in agreement that its better if you worry about ya self right then. Either that or one side is just locking the other 2 out of the room.
Kinda like ya roommate does you when he's "moving furniture"...
Best advice my Pops ever gave me. Too bad it was 5 years too late....
Unless you're really, really trying to build with her and lock her up as yours, you don't need to worry about whether or not SHE cums. Not until after she's hooked on you. We in college. That romance shit is not really needed for the rampant one night stands that are going around. If you are worrying about some chicks feelings after you met her at The American Legion party, then you are setting ya self up for failure.
If you want the CHANCE to build w/ her, that first time you hit it
BEAT THE PUSSY UP!!!!!
F'rill!!!!!!!!
Demolish it!!!!
Try to poke holes in her back. Flip her ass around, dont ask for anything, put her in the position you want her in. Pull her hair. But don't snatch the weave! Grab her throat! If you've got to kiss her...kiss her neck. Kiss her freckles like the song said and you're lucky that she has em!!! Don't sit around and play with the cooch. On some "youre so pretty...May I kiss you? May I lick your snatch? May I twiddle your clitoris w/ my fingers? May I gnaw on your nipples?" type shit.
NO FELLAS!
NO!!!
Take aggression out on it and let her know...this is what you'll get fucking w/ me on a regular basis. All that other sentimental shit comes out when you want more.
SHE'LL BE BACK
SHE'LL TELL ALL HER GIRLS
THEY WILL WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME PUSSY.
But if you want to build with her, and subsequently become a "Man", you know to turn that shit down. Besides, if you watch "Girlfriends" you'll know how some of these women roll with backstabbers and loose morals running rampant in each clique.
Am I stuttering?
*sigh*
You've got to approach the whole act like you know what YOU/YOU/YOU want! Thass 3 times for mind/body/soul, because all three gotta be in agreement that its better if you worry about ya self right then. Either that or one side is just locking the other 2 out of the room.
Kinda like ya roommate does you when he's "moving furniture"...
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
It's been a long time.........
with out a dope entry to think through
Paraphrasing the great Warren Griffith(Rakim), I bring to you a severely late entry/update to my blog. I have had a lot going on and not enough free time to type down my thughts and happenings. I do apologize, but you are going to have to get over it eventually. it hurts when i run across folks who like to continually harp and stay on things way past the time that they should. Vindictive bastards they are......
But anyways.
I'll add some stuff later on today and tomorrow!
Paraphrasing the great Warren Griffith(Rakim), I bring to you a severely late entry/update to my blog. I have had a lot going on and not enough free time to type down my thughts and happenings. I do apologize, but you are going to have to get over it eventually. it hurts when i run across folks who like to continually harp and stay on things way past the time that they should. Vindictive bastards they are......
But anyways.
I'll add some stuff later on today and tomorrow!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Not On Your Level
We've all heard this. Often times its a put down. It's demoralizing and condescending. It deflates the best of hot air headed folk. But on the flip side, we may have used this against others whom we felt weren't up to our standards. We may have thought of using a little bit more tact or come across as being a bit more careful in the decline of said advances. But in the long run, it didn't come across as such.
One thing about the practice and use of "The Level" is that not too many people want to admit that they encounter somebody on a higher level than they are. Think about it. Those rare occassions where you meet somebody and they are just doing the damned thing. They got respecable, if albeit high, goals, and have achieved them. They are "credentialled" and "upstanding" people.
"Damn!!! You got a full ride to Tulane Law? That's some good shit!!!"
or
"You own your own business with just a high school degree! And you're about open up a 2nd location? Keep doing the damned thing!!!"
These are but just some examples that I have come across where somebody is "not on your level" in the way that they are above you according to your own standards. Yet, you feel as though pursuing them might bring them down and hence, make them lose a few notches on their belt or some officer stripes off the shoulder. I've had it happen once. I met a girl and she was really down to earth(at first) and personable. Open and conversational. But as the conversation went on, I came to hear her speak on what she's doing and where's come from. Needless to say I was way intimidated. I felt like shrinking into a corner and assuming the fetal position.
"We're not worthy! We're not worthy!!! We're scum!!!!"
(c) Wayne and Garth
You've seen the movie!!!! But yeah.... Do we have the humility to see others as above us? As thought they have reached what we aspire to be? Really meeting somebody that has a lodge and spa on the mountain top?
One thing about the practice and use of "The Level" is that not too many people want to admit that they encounter somebody on a higher level than they are. Think about it. Those rare occassions where you meet somebody and they are just doing the damned thing. They got respecable, if albeit high, goals, and have achieved them. They are "credentialled" and "upstanding" people.
"Damn!!! You got a full ride to Tulane Law? That's some good shit!!!"
or
"You own your own business with just a high school degree! And you're about open up a 2nd location? Keep doing the damned thing!!!"
These are but just some examples that I have come across where somebody is "not on your level" in the way that they are above you according to your own standards. Yet, you feel as though pursuing them might bring them down and hence, make them lose a few notches on their belt or some officer stripes off the shoulder. I've had it happen once. I met a girl and she was really down to earth(at first) and personable. Open and conversational. But as the conversation went on, I came to hear her speak on what she's doing and where's come from. Needless to say I was way intimidated. I felt like shrinking into a corner and assuming the fetal position.
"We're not worthy! We're not worthy!!! We're scum!!!!"
(c) Wayne and Garth
You've seen the movie!!!! But yeah.... Do we have the humility to see others as above us? As thought they have reached what we aspire to be? Really meeting somebody that has a lodge and spa on the mountain top?
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
This has worked....
get on your knees.
make sure she's on her back.
kneel on her right side
keep her legs @ a greater than 45 degree angle (they will be involuntarily thrashing about in a minute...be careful. knees to the head kin of hurt.)
put your left thumb directly on her clit.
(Lick it before placement though)
revolve thumb in counter-clockwise circles
insert 2 fingers into the vagina, palm up, (either the middle/ring combo, or pointer and middle, either one does the trick. I prefer middle/ring for maximum penetration.)
your fingers should focus on the inner wall, like 4 inches or so below her belly button
like you are beckoning a wayward child, gently move your fingers towards you in a CLOCKwise direction, like your telling her orgasm to come here.
lean over and suck a nipple every now and then.
every now and then she'll buck like a bronco...ride it out, maybe some finger popping until she chills for a minute
then.
back to thumb and finger treatment.
flip her over into doggy, go deep
back to forth, by now her thighs are trembling...let her rest on on your right shoulder
key things to remember:
nipple attention
keep going until she has collapsed onto her side in a quivering heap of post climatic sweat and energy
GANGSTA SHIT:
lay on your back and ask for a glass of kool aid
if she doesn't have any in the house, she will get dressed to go drive and get some.
the end
make sure she's on her back.
kneel on her right side
keep her legs @ a greater than 45 degree angle (they will be involuntarily thrashing about in a minute...be careful. knees to the head kin of hurt.)
put your left thumb directly on her clit.
(Lick it before placement though)
revolve thumb in counter-clockwise circles
insert 2 fingers into the vagina, palm up, (either the middle/ring combo, or pointer and middle, either one does the trick. I prefer middle/ring for maximum penetration.)
your fingers should focus on the inner wall, like 4 inches or so below her belly button
like you are beckoning a wayward child, gently move your fingers towards you in a CLOCKwise direction, like your telling her orgasm to come here.
lean over and suck a nipple every now and then.
every now and then she'll buck like a bronco...ride it out, maybe some finger popping until she chills for a minute
then.
back to thumb and finger treatment.
flip her over into doggy, go deep
back to forth, by now her thighs are trembling...let her rest on on your right shoulder
key things to remember:
nipple attention
keep going until she has collapsed onto her side in a quivering heap of post climatic sweat and energy
GANGSTA SHIT:
lay on your back and ask for a glass of kool aid
if she doesn't have any in the house, she will get dressed to go drive and get some.
the end
Friday, July 15, 2005
Staying Committed
Remedial shit that I've come to believe in Part 1
Example #1
Staying committed to one's goals is hallmark of adulthood.
I wanna stop working out! I really do. But I need to lose the fat. I would like to get down to 185 by the end of the calendar year. That is my goal. The 2ndary goal is 200. All thes come on the heels of my Fiscal New Year's Resolution. You know how people do the whole NYE reolsution things. Well I decided to do mine when businesses and corporations start their new year, July 1st.
Well it was aactually July 5th. I had to gorge myself at The Taste of Chicago/4th of July Weekend celebrations. You just can't go cold turkey with such culinary delectibles about to spring forth...Hell Fuckin Naw!!!!!
So I've been on it for 2 weeks now. I just finished my first full 5 days of weight lifting and cardio exercises. I do 5 days of Cardio exercises and 3 days of weights. Each day I do 20 minutes of Cardio. Shit gets tiring, man! I get out of bed and start my day off doing other things and subliminally trying to get my mind to conveniently find an excuse NOT to go to the gym. It never works because the righteous side of my brain always tells me to leave my locker lock on the ashtray to my car.
But Im starting to see results. My jawline is starting to come back!!!! I haven't seen that since 1998! I have the picture to prove it!!!!
In the larger sense, such action help me to become more accountable for my successes and failures. Failures aren't hard to cope with for me. its the successes that I have problems with. I can't handle them the proper way that is most optimum for continues success. instead I play reserved like as if such a thing is no big deal. I may even defer the credit to somebody else. At times one who didn't even do shit!!!
The opposite happens with failure. I have no qualms being the fall guy or taking responisbility for the unmet results of a situation or program.
I can easily take not finishing a project but I have in the recent years never comleted one. i can't stay doing that!!! What the fuck do I look like? At least that is what my conscience thinks. I know I should be doing better than *this*. People know that I am capable of doing better. now it is just a matter of me showing people that I can do better.
Example #1
Staying committed to one's goals is hallmark of adulthood.
I wanna stop working out! I really do. But I need to lose the fat. I would like to get down to 185 by the end of the calendar year. That is my goal. The 2ndary goal is 200. All thes come on the heels of my Fiscal New Year's Resolution. You know how people do the whole NYE reolsution things. Well I decided to do mine when businesses and corporations start their new year, July 1st.
Well it was aactually July 5th. I had to gorge myself at The Taste of Chicago/4th of July Weekend celebrations. You just can't go cold turkey with such culinary delectibles about to spring forth...Hell Fuckin Naw!!!!!
So I've been on it for 2 weeks now. I just finished my first full 5 days of weight lifting and cardio exercises. I do 5 days of Cardio exercises and 3 days of weights. Each day I do 20 minutes of Cardio. Shit gets tiring, man! I get out of bed and start my day off doing other things and subliminally trying to get my mind to conveniently find an excuse NOT to go to the gym. It never works because the righteous side of my brain always tells me to leave my locker lock on the ashtray to my car.
But Im starting to see results. My jawline is starting to come back!!!! I haven't seen that since 1998! I have the picture to prove it!!!!
In the larger sense, such action help me to become more accountable for my successes and failures. Failures aren't hard to cope with for me. its the successes that I have problems with. I can't handle them the proper way that is most optimum for continues success. instead I play reserved like as if such a thing is no big deal. I may even defer the credit to somebody else. At times one who didn't even do shit!!!
The opposite happens with failure. I have no qualms being the fall guy or taking responisbility for the unmet results of a situation or program.
I can easily take not finishing a project but I have in the recent years never comleted one. i can't stay doing that!!! What the fuck do I look like? At least that is what my conscience thinks. I know I should be doing better than *this*. People know that I am capable of doing better. now it is just a matter of me showing people that I can do better.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Attraction vs Seeking
On a few occasions, people have wondered what types of women do I attract and who am I attracted to. I attract chicks that have "nothing to lose" and I am attracted to chicks...
There is no other way I can explain the latter.
I really don't put forth my qualities that attract women without my initiating "the dance". I usualy play it cool and stay reserved to the point where I can observe and see how somebody is when interacting with others. Yeah, I scout the talent. If I see somebody I like I make my entrance with a conversation starter-like comment. Or I see to it that I spend a little bit more time around that person to do some more observations in the future. Look, some people can be free with it others, such as myself, have to have more of a gameplan!
I don't go for "perfection" or a set-in-stone standard of qualities. One by one, I find a quality that I like or a persoanlity trait that I find to be interesting, and go from there. I have my likes and preferrences(a butt, eyeglasses worn every now and then, a sense of humor, etc.) but even those aren't always what draws me to women. It could be other traits not often associated or used primarily for attracting men that will pull me closer to you. Rather it is something that piques interest. I don't usually find it interesting that a girl just goes to class and studies. I do that too, and that shit is not very interesting.
You can't look at my dating history and see a blatant pattern. I like to believe that you really have to search to find a common theme in my dating partners. I like to think that I approach things in relationships as building from the ground up using one thing, trying to see if there is another, and another, and another item to build on top of the prior one. It doesn't always work.
There is no other way I can explain the latter.
I really don't put forth my qualities that attract women without my initiating "the dance". I usualy play it cool and stay reserved to the point where I can observe and see how somebody is when interacting with others. Yeah, I scout the talent. If I see somebody I like I make my entrance with a conversation starter-like comment. Or I see to it that I spend a little bit more time around that person to do some more observations in the future. Look, some people can be free with it others, such as myself, have to have more of a gameplan!
I don't go for "perfection" or a set-in-stone standard of qualities. One by one, I find a quality that I like or a persoanlity trait that I find to be interesting, and go from there. I have my likes and preferrences(a butt, eyeglasses worn every now and then, a sense of humor, etc.) but even those aren't always what draws me to women. It could be other traits not often associated or used primarily for attracting men that will pull me closer to you. Rather it is something that piques interest. I don't usually find it interesting that a girl just goes to class and studies. I do that too, and that shit is not very interesting.
You can't look at my dating history and see a blatant pattern. I like to believe that you really have to search to find a common theme in my dating partners. I like to think that I approach things in relationships as building from the ground up using one thing, trying to see if there is another, and another, and another item to build on top of the prior one. It doesn't always work.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Caught up with an old friend
I got an email from a friend of mine that she was going to be in the "area" this weekend starting Thursday. She's pretty popular and for those that missed her, such as myself, we needed to know that she was going to be here. Also, that her time was going to be limited due to the amount of people she had wanting to hang out with her. I can't be mad at such a thing because I'm pretty sure I do the exact same thing whenever I go back home for a few days. I can't catch up with everybody and alot of people want to do things with me.
This girl was a good female friend back in the early days of Mizzou. She was from Orland Park which is synonymous with Ice Cube's line "Living way/ NIGGER GO HOME/ spray painted on ya house" because it is so fucking far from the City. She was a good girl, free spirited like Freddie from "A Different World". Kind of like a white girl trapped in a Black girl's body, but cognizant that she would have to be able to interact with Black people eventually on a functional level. She graduated 3 years ago and in that time she did the teaching English in Japan thing as well as Fulbright Fellowship to Prague. Now she's getting her master's from Georgetown while doing non-profit work for The Discovery Channel.
This sounds like a winner to me......
Thing is though, she reminds me too much of my sister. Alot of people know that guys tend to be attracted to versions of their mother or grandmother. BUT, there are few who also tend to be attracted to versions of their female siblings. I'm starting to believe that I am of that few. She was the first instance where I realized this. Scary at first, but then I talked to my Mom and she explained the whole thing to me. Mom is the best!!!!
So Thursday rolls around and I give her a call. Just to see if she made it in and a safely. The whole London Bombing thing was on our collective minds, anyways! I left a message and waited for a call back. When that didn't happen I called her again a few hours later. We arranged to me up "for coffee" Friday morning. We met for coffee and cinnamon rolls at Panera and we talked about various things and DC lifestyles. I was unaware of the networking trends there and now that I know about them I may reconsider the relocation there within the next year or so. I like to base things on merit not just who one person knows. Actually merit outweighs connections but both entities are required to get around and ahead. Yeah.....
But all the while we are talking I begin to notice the similarities again between her and my sister. They both got chubby and are hella motorized. Both are slightly anal retentive and gossipy. I guess I'm really just attracted to the "action" in their personalities. However, the thing I don't like about my sister is her mood swings and bitterness. If I can avoid that, then i may end up marrying somebody like her.
Just a scary thought.....
This girl was a good female friend back in the early days of Mizzou. She was from Orland Park which is synonymous with Ice Cube's line "Living way/ NIGGER GO HOME/ spray painted on ya house" because it is so fucking far from the City. She was a good girl, free spirited like Freddie from "A Different World". Kind of like a white girl trapped in a Black girl's body, but cognizant that she would have to be able to interact with Black people eventually on a functional level. She graduated 3 years ago and in that time she did the teaching English in Japan thing as well as Fulbright Fellowship to Prague. Now she's getting her master's from Georgetown while doing non-profit work for The Discovery Channel.
This sounds like a winner to me......
Thing is though, she reminds me too much of my sister. Alot of people know that guys tend to be attracted to versions of their mother or grandmother. BUT, there are few who also tend to be attracted to versions of their female siblings. I'm starting to believe that I am of that few. She was the first instance where I realized this. Scary at first, but then I talked to my Mom and she explained the whole thing to me. Mom is the best!!!!
So Thursday rolls around and I give her a call. Just to see if she made it in and a safely. The whole London Bombing thing was on our collective minds, anyways! I left a message and waited for a call back. When that didn't happen I called her again a few hours later. We arranged to me up "for coffee" Friday morning. We met for coffee and cinnamon rolls at Panera and we talked about various things and DC lifestyles. I was unaware of the networking trends there and now that I know about them I may reconsider the relocation there within the next year or so. I like to base things on merit not just who one person knows. Actually merit outweighs connections but both entities are required to get around and ahead. Yeah.....
But all the while we are talking I begin to notice the similarities again between her and my sister. They both got chubby and are hella motorized. Both are slightly anal retentive and gossipy. I guess I'm really just attracted to the "action" in their personalities. However, the thing I don't like about my sister is her mood swings and bitterness. If I can avoid that, then i may end up marrying somebody like her.
Just a scary thought.....
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Wha...Wha...What's ya fantasy?
So I'm talking to an old friend from last summer and the conversation leads to sex talk. We reminisce about last summer and the things we did. Good times! last sumer that is....
The conversation leads to fantasies and ideal situations as I like to call them and she said that she never did get to cook me breakfast BUCKY NEKKID!!!! WTF? She goes into the scenario she's dreamed about. All the while I'm listening to her talk, I start to thinking about it and i want to do it!!! I really need to make this happen. With her....
So she's looking into flights for later on this month.
The conversation leads to fantasies and ideal situations as I like to call them and she said that she never did get to cook me breakfast BUCKY NEKKID!!!! WTF? She goes into the scenario she's dreamed about. All the while I'm listening to her talk, I start to thinking about it and i want to do it!!! I really need to make this happen. With her....
So she's looking into flights for later on this month.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Detour from Memory Lane
I can’t get Minnie Riperton’s “Memory Lane” out of my head. Especially the opening line of “I stumbled on this photograph…” which I can’t seem to get past. Really, life has imitated art now that I have come across some photos of an “ex” that were lost. However, this event was good for entirely different reasons. As Minnie sang, she was discussing with her love the good times that were shared between them and that they were still together to create more. Myself on the other hand, well, I had no opportunity to do so with this chick. It was just the cement to create the proverbial sidewalk that allows me to keep it movin'.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Drifting on a memory
Songs and my memory. I seem to always have a song for a specific memory so that whenever I hear that song I automatically think back to that particular memory. It’s not thoroughly consistent, but with most of the ladies in my life, however, I always have a song stuck in my head exclusively for them. The song for a particular girl is either background music that fit “just right” for the time I simultaneously heard it and saw her, or it is truly representative of their personalities.
The first time I recognized this was my freshman year of college. During my senior year of high school there was this girl that I had a crush on from another school. We were coworkers and in the working together she showed me a picture of her from a semi-formal ball. Now, with most black high schools the theme of said particular ball was imprinted onto the photos taken at that ball. The theme for hers, and that was on her picture with her date, was the opening line to The Isley Bros. “For The Love of You”. Now mind you, the themes were song titles that were popular. However, her school took it a step further and used the opening line and it worked!
Now, whenever I hear that song, and I do really like that song, I always think of her. It doesn’t matter that nothing ever happened and that I never had the chance to tell that I liked her. The thing is that whenever I hear that song I think of her! With this girl, it’s not an intense feeling or memory, just a curiosity of sorts brought back by the remembrance of her and that picture with the opening line to “For The Love of You” imprinted on it.
Then, there is “Love’s Holiday” by Earth, Wind, and Fire.
My first love and how I had that song playing when I tried to get her to know that I cared about her. I remember the night so vividly because I did a lot of driving in my Mom’s car, through the city and out to the suburbs of where she stayed and then back to the city. Notice, I didn’t say to my home! All the time that I was driving I was hinting that I wanted to hook up with her before she left for a six-week study abroad program in Tanzania.
Actually, this was a moment of urgency because during that summer up until that time, we were both working at the same place and would take lunches together. So I had the time, plenty of it, to tell her and give better hints. I was unwise and oh so DUMB! So I had decided that the night before she left would be the night to let her know. I tried with what was at the time, my best efforts. I didn’t have the gumption to just speak it and make moves. The best that I gave, in hindsight, was a good clue at the end of the night.
When she came back to the states and right before she headed off to school for the fall, she said that she realized that I had in fact liked her, but most importantly, she liked me too! In the end, it was the start of a monumental relationship for the next 2 years.
Still though, whenever I hear that song I still think of her. Ironically, whenever I hear Earth, Wind and Fire’s “After the Love is Gone” I remember when we broke up the first time!!!!
The first time I recognized this was my freshman year of college. During my senior year of high school there was this girl that I had a crush on from another school. We were coworkers and in the working together she showed me a picture of her from a semi-formal ball. Now, with most black high schools the theme of said particular ball was imprinted onto the photos taken at that ball. The theme for hers, and that was on her picture with her date, was the opening line to The Isley Bros. “For The Love of You”. Now mind you, the themes were song titles that were popular. However, her school took it a step further and used the opening line and it worked!
Now, whenever I hear that song, and I do really like that song, I always think of her. It doesn’t matter that nothing ever happened and that I never had the chance to tell that I liked her. The thing is that whenever I hear that song I think of her! With this girl, it’s not an intense feeling or memory, just a curiosity of sorts brought back by the remembrance of her and that picture with the opening line to “For The Love of You” imprinted on it.
Then, there is “Love’s Holiday” by Earth, Wind, and Fire.
My first love and how I had that song playing when I tried to get her to know that I cared about her. I remember the night so vividly because I did a lot of driving in my Mom’s car, through the city and out to the suburbs of where she stayed and then back to the city. Notice, I didn’t say to my home! All the time that I was driving I was hinting that I wanted to hook up with her before she left for a six-week study abroad program in Tanzania.
Actually, this was a moment of urgency because during that summer up until that time, we were both working at the same place and would take lunches together. So I had the time, plenty of it, to tell her and give better hints. I was unwise and oh so DUMB! So I had decided that the night before she left would be the night to let her know. I tried with what was at the time, my best efforts. I didn’t have the gumption to just speak it and make moves. The best that I gave, in hindsight, was a good clue at the end of the night.
When she came back to the states and right before she headed off to school for the fall, she said that she realized that I had in fact liked her, but most importantly, she liked me too! In the end, it was the start of a monumental relationship for the next 2 years.
Still though, whenever I hear that song I still think of her. Ironically, whenever I hear Earth, Wind and Fire’s “After the Love is Gone” I remember when we broke up the first time!!!!
Saturday, June 25, 2005
I'm focused man.......
Quit The Farm
Chillin until The Weekend of The 4th
Getting The Burg checked up
Registering for Summer Classes
Start date for The Motel is on the 10th
Should I be looking for some gunch?
Nah, I don't need the distractions......
Chillin until The Weekend of The 4th
Getting The Burg checked up
Registering for Summer Classes
Start date for The Motel is on the 10th
Should I be looking for some gunch?
Nah, I don't need the distractions......
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
You know me! I'm just a random ass dude!!!!
This whole facebook.com thing is fun. I get to check out people's profiles from schools I ain't even know existed and shit!!!! Best part is that I can leave messgaes and "poke" them as well. They were on to something with this when they created it.
The thing I like best is that i see some fly ass gurrls posting up these pics. It makes me feel good that there are some beautiful ass womenfolk in other parts of the country. Like, I would have never thought about going to Providence, RI to holla at some chicks.
But then again, why should I go that fucking far, when i can just go to The Chi....
The thing I like best is that i see some fly ass gurrls posting up these pics. It makes me feel good that there are some beautiful ass womenfolk in other parts of the country. Like, I would have never thought about going to Providence, RI to holla at some chicks.
But then again, why should I go that fucking far, when i can just go to The Chi....
Sunday, June 19, 2005
The Great Ralph Wiley
Never heard of him? Google is a good ally for you right now! Use and report back!!!
Ralph Wiley was a sportswriter for Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com until, tragically last year when he died of a heart attack while watching the Pistons play the Lakers. The ironic thing about it was that he had just written a piece for ESPN.com about how he saw the Pistons beatig the Lake Show. Folks guess that such a bold statement caught even the author of it, off guard.
Ralph Wiley was a good writer point blank. He could write his ass off and he really did appeal to me because of it. When I read his works, I thought that I could hear his voice as much as I can hear an older male relative or elder talking to me. Very personable and direct, but not intnetionally, I don't think.
I first read his works in a book I borrowed from one of my best friends, henry. It was entitled "Why Black People Tend To Shout". Knowing Henry, it was easily cutrious to see why he had this book. Henry, like myself, is unapologetically Black. We know the difference between niggas and Black people, and African-Americans. But we also know that those three labels are interchangable and still don't speak to the diversity within our culture. So I snatched it from his little library and read it. It took me one night to finish it.
I didn't return it for a year though....
After that I was hooked. I read his follow up to that book. I tried to find his biography on Eric Davis. I was hella elated when he signed on to do pieces for ESPN. I was a fan. A faithful reader and supporter. He could do no wrong. And what I mean when I saw that is his opinion was always respected. He was consistent with his thoughts and was never ever contradictory. He shed light on issues that many people would have only stopped at the surface, just when they thought there was nothing else to it. His essays ranged from John Thompson at Georgetown to why C. Vivian Stringer should be the next coach of a men's basketball team to how and why Oakland's Tim Brown-Jerry Rice combo was so efficient and possibly lethal. His articulated thoughts were so refreshing to me and fermented alot of thoughts I had tried to come up with myself.
You know how you feel about a situation or particular thing, but you can't articulate it or conjure it up into words to tell somebody else in an eloquent manner? Ralph Wiley helped me to overcome that with his words.
Ralph Wiley was a sportswriter for Sports Illustrated and ESPN.com until, tragically last year when he died of a heart attack while watching the Pistons play the Lakers. The ironic thing about it was that he had just written a piece for ESPN.com about how he saw the Pistons beatig the Lake Show. Folks guess that such a bold statement caught even the author of it, off guard.
Ralph Wiley was a good writer point blank. He could write his ass off and he really did appeal to me because of it. When I read his works, I thought that I could hear his voice as much as I can hear an older male relative or elder talking to me. Very personable and direct, but not intnetionally, I don't think.
I first read his works in a book I borrowed from one of my best friends, henry. It was entitled "Why Black People Tend To Shout". Knowing Henry, it was easily cutrious to see why he had this book. Henry, like myself, is unapologetically Black. We know the difference between niggas and Black people, and African-Americans. But we also know that those three labels are interchangable and still don't speak to the diversity within our culture. So I snatched it from his little library and read it. It took me one night to finish it.
I didn't return it for a year though....
After that I was hooked. I read his follow up to that book. I tried to find his biography on Eric Davis. I was hella elated when he signed on to do pieces for ESPN. I was a fan. A faithful reader and supporter. He could do no wrong. And what I mean when I saw that is his opinion was always respected. He was consistent with his thoughts and was never ever contradictory. He shed light on issues that many people would have only stopped at the surface, just when they thought there was nothing else to it. His essays ranged from John Thompson at Georgetown to why C. Vivian Stringer should be the next coach of a men's basketball team to how and why Oakland's Tim Brown-Jerry Rice combo was so efficient and possibly lethal. His articulated thoughts were so refreshing to me and fermented alot of thoughts I had tried to come up with myself.
You know how you feel about a situation or particular thing, but you can't articulate it or conjure it up into words to tell somebody else in an eloquent manner? Ralph Wiley helped me to overcome that with his words.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Leaving The Farm
I've been working at the local Claims Center of State farm for the past month or so. All I really do is read books on various things regarding claims like cars and injuries. The shit is boring and redundant because I have already been through this with two other companies that I have interned for prior to landing at SF.
They hired about 70 people at the same time and we are all going through training at the same time. They keep us in two large training rooms with a computer for each of us. Reading these books and using these CD-Roms to get us to learn what it is we will be doing. Somehow, these mu'fuckas didn't read my resume and learn that I already know this shit! I fall asleep in there everyday. I sit next to a new-to-the-workforce house wife from the sticks who isn't very computer literate. She's always asking me questions about things I have told her how to handle before. If I was in a better mood or if she was a MILF, then it wouldn't be so bad.
Yesterday, I'm sitting at the desk and the Training Manager comes in to speak to me. She's a piece of work. tennessee bred, company woman of 25 years who really isn't the most knowledgeable insurance professional, but somehow knows how to handle people. She has a cubicle filled to the "t" with trinkets that one would get from Cracker Barrel. Its depressing and tacky to look at. But, anyways, she comes in and asks me if I would be able to relocate to another office within the company. She offers me Shreveport, LA and Baton Rouge, LA. I've been to Baton Rouge and loved it. Shreveport ain't too inteesting to me. So I told her that i would like BR. She says fine and then proceeds to tell me that around the end of August I'll be transferred to the Total Loss vehicle Claims unit there.
That'd be fine if i hadn't already registered for the 2nd Session of Summer school that starts July 5th.
I have figured that if I'm not going to be doing anything worthwhile like inspecting roofs or visiting Body Shops, I might as well earn some more credits towards my degree....
They hired about 70 people at the same time and we are all going through training at the same time. They keep us in two large training rooms with a computer for each of us. Reading these books and using these CD-Roms to get us to learn what it is we will be doing. Somehow, these mu'fuckas didn't read my resume and learn that I already know this shit! I fall asleep in there everyday. I sit next to a new-to-the-workforce house wife from the sticks who isn't very computer literate. She's always asking me questions about things I have told her how to handle before. If I was in a better mood or if she was a MILF, then it wouldn't be so bad.
Yesterday, I'm sitting at the desk and the Training Manager comes in to speak to me. She's a piece of work. tennessee bred, company woman of 25 years who really isn't the most knowledgeable insurance professional, but somehow knows how to handle people. She has a cubicle filled to the "t" with trinkets that one would get from Cracker Barrel. Its depressing and tacky to look at. But, anyways, she comes in and asks me if I would be able to relocate to another office within the company. She offers me Shreveport, LA and Baton Rouge, LA. I've been to Baton Rouge and loved it. Shreveport ain't too inteesting to me. So I told her that i would like BR. She says fine and then proceeds to tell me that around the end of August I'll be transferred to the Total Loss vehicle Claims unit there.
That'd be fine if i hadn't already registered for the 2nd Session of Summer school that starts July 5th.
I have figured that if I'm not going to be doing anything worthwhile like inspecting roofs or visiting Body Shops, I might as well earn some more credits towards my degree....
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Letting folks go
letting folks go
Ever see "A Bronx Tale"?I remember the scene where C is telling Sonny about how he loaned this one guy $20 and the guy hasn't repaid him yet. Sonny comes with the best advice:Don't think of it as you losing $20. Rather that you paid the guy $20 to get out of your life!!!Sometimes its bad to know that people will leave you for free. Usually in the way that they just break from future contact with you without warning. You felt nothing was wrong and you were willing to put in the work necessary to sustain a friendship on your part.
But, sometimes you realize it and then there are those times that you don't. I sometimes find myself in this same situation and I ask myself what it is I did to make them leave. Then, after some thought, I think back to what Sonny said. You're a blessed son of a bitch to not have to pay anyting to get people who aren't worth ya time(actualized or not) out of your life!!!
Ever see "A Bronx Tale"?I remember the scene where C is telling Sonny about how he loaned this one guy $20 and the guy hasn't repaid him yet. Sonny comes with the best advice:Don't think of it as you losing $20. Rather that you paid the guy $20 to get out of your life!!!Sometimes its bad to know that people will leave you for free. Usually in the way that they just break from future contact with you without warning. You felt nothing was wrong and you were willing to put in the work necessary to sustain a friendship on your part.
But, sometimes you realize it and then there are those times that you don't. I sometimes find myself in this same situation and I ask myself what it is I did to make them leave. Then, after some thought, I think back to what Sonny said. You're a blessed son of a bitch to not have to pay anyting to get people who aren't worth ya time(actualized or not) out of your life!!!
Monday, June 13, 2005
Who's reading?
So, you must be bored or just hella nosey to come by my blog to read my thoughts. Be repared for some randumbness from me. I may from time to time be a bit incoherent, but I'm working on that now with soem therapy.
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